Breaking: Pope Francis says gays are great, Big Bang real, evolution correct, God doesn't exist, bible is fairy tales, religion is bullshit.
The first guy to fertilize a field with manure was probably up to some kind of sick revenge nonsense that completely backfired.
There should be more super heroes that the average person can relate to, like 'the procrastinator', or "indecisive man"
BREAKING: Ancient stone circles found in Middle East paid for with ancient American tax dollars.
Lindsay Lohan and Tom Cruise are dating. He's using her to revive his career. She's using the top of his head to rest her drinks.
invents time machine
goes to 1930 Germany
points guns at young Hitler
What gives you the right to ruin a mustache style for everyone!?
frantically running away from returning boomerang
I DIDN'T THINK THIS THROUGH
Cop: do you know how fast you were going?
Me: no because humans can't feel the force of velocity only its change
Cop: rips my bong whoa
Every time you smoke weed, an angel turns around abruptly and accidentally knocks over a lamp with its wing.