This is a personal rant. Because I need to. If you don't want to read a personal rant feel free to head on over to a different diary. Because I'm going to rant.
I am tired of being stressed out. I have two children that live with me. I have no wife. I have no significant other. I have PSTD. I have Bi-polar 2.
My kids have mental health issues from being in foster care for two years when dumped there by my ex.
And today, I'm told that I should dump them on the street.
(Rage, rants and exhaustion on the flip.)
My family has helped me. Dear god my family has helped me. But they're retired. They have other children. They don't need the stress every month.
The government helps me because I need the help. To the tune of 1/2 of my rent. And then grills me on where I get the money to pay my rent. Well, I don't steal it. I beg for it. From other agencies, or on my G.I. Bill when I can get into school. I certainly don't live it up on your dime, folks. I barely survive.
So, last month due to funding changes, new help caps, etc, the organization that helped me with rent stated that they wouldn't help me any more. And paid my landlord on the very last day of the month. Now here we are, I have not the money to pay, and apparently because they dawdled so long, my landlord has already sent the paperwork to the lawyer. To go to Arbitration. Yes, see, the fine print on my last lease which I didn't notice states that this goes to the "Throw em out if they don't pay" court rather than the "Well, he's disabled, not receiving money for it, in therapy with two small children right before winter" court.
So, in their infinite generosity I've been given a five day reprieve. Not a full reprieve. Because if I'm late again, the lawyer already has my case, as already specified. Oh, and that bug problem you have that we hired the world's shittiest Pest Control Guy for? Yeah, we've decided that's YOUR fault, so we're demanding weekly inspections of your unit. On our schedule. Because we think you're not keeping up your end of the bargain by actually LIVING in your apartment.
So, I'm stressed. Can't smoke a joint, because even though it's the best cure for my PTSD, VA says that they won't help if I do. MAYBE I can get into some veteran's transitional housing, because there's NO shelters that will take a male with children. And kiss the internet goodbye again, so farewell to having any hope of a social life. That whole "Can't leave the house at night without risking panic attacks" is just not our problem.
So, that's why I'm stressed. That's why I'm tired. That's why every month I go through something similar. I did vote. Barely. First time I know I'll be seeing the income to easily make rent will be when I finally get my disability or when I get back into school... which starts in 2 months, and doesn't pay for 3.
Happy Veteran's day, Veteran! Hope you like the street. Because Money is what matters here, and the fact that you get paid late, doesn't matter to us.