I knew I was screwed when I looked out the window first thing in the morning and saw it was snowing. A rare mid-November storm was hitting Columbus on a day I had to commute.
Snow means bad roads getting to the airport and flight delays getting out of the airport.
I needed to get to Philadelphia by 1:20 PM in order to be in place for my trip that night. Since I'm writing this from Philadelphia, I made it on time but it wasn't fun.
While I was sitting through endless delays I had plenty of time to think about this diary.
A lot of my trips require a deadhead on a commercial flight to get me into position. The company will buy me an airline ticket from our main hub to where I need to go. Since I don't live in the main hub, I would have to ride the jumpseat on one of our planes there and then catch the scheduled commercial flight(s) to where I'm going.
Fortunately they give me the option of "deviating" and trading that ticket for one from my home in Columbus. I guess that makes me a "deviant". This way I can do an easy one-hop from Columbus to Philly rather than a jumpseat to the hub and then endure a two-hop through Atlanta or Charlotte to get there. My life is easier and the company saves money with the cheaper ticket. It's a win-win.
The only problem with deviating is that the responsibility is now on me to get myself there. As Woody Allen said, eighty percent of life is just showing up. If I'm on the scheduled ticket and something goes wrong, the company has a problem. If I'm deviating and something goes wrong I have a problem.
Some of the same tips that help me get to work on time may also help you with your travels. If you're a frequent airline traveler you probably know all this stuff already. If you're not, you may actually find some useful nuggets here.
I can't help you pick an airline. In my opinion they all treat you about the same any more. My first airline flight that I can remember was on an Eastern L1011 in 1977. It's been downhill ever since.
In no particular order, here are some tips I've picked up over the years:
Give yourself plenty of time.
I like to show up at the terminal at least an hour prior to a domestic departure and 90 minutes for an international flight. If you're parking at the airport, factor in the time to get from parking to the terminal. Add some extra time if you plan on checking a bag.
Keep in mind that Port Columbus is a fairly compact airport. If you're leaving from some place like O'Hare or JFK you might want to add more time. Nobody likes sitting around the airport but it's no fun being stressed out about making your flight.
Pack light if you can.
My standard "rig" consists of a 22" roller bag and a small backpack. I can go a week easily with this. For a two-week trip I trade my 22" bag for a larger rolling duffle. You probably don't need to bring as much stuff as you think you do. Most airlines any more charge a fee for checking a bag.
Know how to check in.
If you haven't flown in a while, you will be surprised to find a bunch of kiosks where the check-in counter used to be. You'll be expected to check in at the kiosk and then someone will (eventually) call you to the counter to check your bags. Make sure the tag they put on your bag has the code for the airport you're going to. They've tried to send mine to the wrong place before.
If you're checking a bag, don't lock it. The TSA hates that. If you have the same suitcase that a million other people use, put something on it to personalize it. That way you can pick it out of all the others at baggage claim.
Most airlines any more will let you check in on line and download your boarding pass to your phone. Even a Luddite like myself finds this pretty convenient.
I don't like to check my bag since a certain US AIRline lost it in Charlotte. It found it's way to me six hours later with a damaged laptop. Note that they have a disclaimer saying they're not responsible for damaged electronics. Grrrrrrrrrrr.
If it's important - keep it with you.
If I have to check a bag, I just assume it will be sent to Guam and I keep my essentials with me. I make sure I have at least a change of underwear and a shirt in my backpack. Most hotels will provide you with toiletries.
Know how to get through security.
TSA screening lines can be pretty long. I have the advantage of my airline uniform getting me into the express line. You probably don't. Keep this in mind. Read the signs and do what they tell you with your laptop, shoes, jacket and phone.
Whatever your personal feelings are about the TSA I find it's best to treat them professionally. I make a point never to antagonize someone who has the power to make my life miserable. If you happen to travel through Europe you'll find their security to be generally more strict and more thorough than ours. Remember, the Germans love nothing more than making rules and enforcing them.
I try to have all my ducks in a row before I go through the metal detector. Makes life easier for everyone involved. If you wear a lot of chunky metal jewelry, this might be the time to have it packed in your purse or carry-on bag. If you're a cowboy and like wearing Buick-hubcap sized belt buckles you may have trouble here.
Know where to go.
Once past security be sure to check the displays for your departure gate. Airlines sometimes have to swap gates so it may have changed.
I try to get a direct flight when I can. Less legs means less chances for something to go wrong. You probably won't get a direct flight, however, unless you live in a major airline hub or you're going to a major hub.
If I have to connect, I don't like to cut it close. Unfortunately the airlines like to schedule "min turns" between flights. Good luck getting from Terminal 3 to Terminal 1 at O'Hare in 30 minutes. Any delay (and there probably will be) on a minimum turn and you'll be hard pressed to make your connection.
Know the weather.
Weather is your enemy. Know it because it will make your life miserable. You need to worry about the weather where you are, where you're going and where you're connecting through. Even then, the plane you're supposed to fly out on may be delayed by weather at some other airport.
Take an early flight if you can.
For that reason, I like to get the first flight out in the morning if I can stand it. That way the plane is at least already at the airport and I don't have to worry about it getting there. Today that saved my bacon.
I booked myself on the 7:10 flight to Philly. First one out of the gate so I figured the plane would be there. It was. So far so good. The display at the gate optimistically said "On Time". Yeah right. The snowfall tells me that we're going to have to deice. I figure at least a 20 minute delay.
Delays tend to compound through an airlines system as the day goes on. They just don't have much wiggle room in their schedules. The later you are, the later you get.
Know your equipment.
The board us on time. It's an Embraer 170. Not a bad little plane. I'd say it's my favorite of the "little jets".
It's a good idea to know what equipment you're on. If possible, go for a Boeing 7-something or Airbus 3-something. I try to avoid Embraer 145s and Canadair CRJs on anything over an hour flight because they're pretty cramped. I got stuck on an EMB145 once all the way from Miami to Columbus. My back may never be the same.
There are sites like seatguru that actually rate the different seating arrangements on the different airlines. I've actually found this to be useful at times.
I try to avoid anything with props like a Dash-8 because in addition to being cramped they also have the advantage of being noisy and slow. That way you get to enjoy it longer.
The only problem with the EMB170s is the overhead compartments fill up quick. If you're not in the first half of the boarding process you'll probably end up checking your bag. I'm in one of the earlier zones but I still have to go past my row to find a spot in the overhead then swim back upstream to my seat.
The seats on the EMB170 are a little better than on the smaller jets but still not what you'd get on a "real" airliner. Fortunately the guy next to me isn't your typical "husky" Midwesterner and I have plenty of some room.
I used to be an aisle seat kind of guy but I got tired of my arm getting bumped by flight attendants and drink carts. Now I try to get a window seat. I carry an inflatable camping pillow that I rest my head against if I want to nap.
Note: if you happen to find yourself sitting in an empty row of seats, congratulations. You've won the airline lottery! It probably won't happen again soon so don't get used to it.
Know how to get out if you need to.
I note where the emergency exits are and how many rows from me to the nearest one. If there's smoke I may have to count seats to find my way out. If you see me running, try to keep up. And yes, I read the little card in the seat because the doors on this thing probably work differently from the doors on my jet. I'll need to be the first one out so I can.........um.........supervise the rescue effort from a safe vantage point. Yeah, that's it!
Wear the right shoes.
Be ready to walk, a lot. Some airports are pretty big and you may have to walk quite a ways to make a connection.
Keep in mind, it's possible you might have to quickly get out of the jet and go down the escape slide. I'd recommend wearing comfortable shoes that you can move in if you need to. Pack the high heels, strappy sandals, flip-flops and other fashionable but impractical footwear in your suitcase.
Odds are nothing is going to happen, but on the off chance it does - seconds count.
Expect delays.
Delays happen and today we're getting it from both ends. Philadelphia has rain and low ceilings which is really stretching out their arrivals. They're experiencing inbound delays of at least an hour.
Meanwhile Port Columbus is struggling to get all the departures deiced. We push back from the gate 30 minutes late and sit on the taxiway - for another hour and 20 minutes. Gosh this is fun. They have to do this because an inbound flight probably needs that gate. We sit on the taxiway because there's really nowhere else for us to be.
Finally, almost two hours after our scheduled departure we pull onto the deicing pad. Sure glad I passed up that second cup of coffee this morning or I'd be wanting a bathroom right about now.
Never pass up a bathroom. You don't know when the next chance will be. Don't count on using the lav on the aircraft. If it's a short flight you'll probably be blocked by the drink cart or, like today, you may be in turbulence the whole way.
Finally we take off - 2 hours and 15 minutes late. At least we're making progress.
Work and play well with others.
Once airborne we come to the big question. To recline or not to recline? This is a touchy subject and prone to start fist fights. I'll give you what I call my "reasonable person" approach.
If there's nobody in the seat behind me I figure I'm cleared in hot. Let 'er rip!
If there is somebody behind me, I figure they don't want my head in their lap anymore than I want to spend the next hour staring at some guy's bald spot (mine's coming along nicely). I recline - a little bit. One, maybe two notches. Enough where I'm not sitting bolt upright but not so much that I'm in somebody's personal space.
Expect bumps.
It's a rough ride all the way to Philly. Golly this is fun. When it comes to airliners "the bigger the better" is a good rule. Big planes tend to ride better than small planes. Jets ride better than props. That's because jets have a wing designed for high speeds which has the side effect of being less susceptible to turbulence.
The best place to sit is just forward of the wing. That's where the aircraft's center of gravity is. In turbulence the plane pivots around it's center of gravity like a teeter-totter. Try not to sit back in the tail unless you like getting bounced around.
Finally we make to Philadelphia. I check in for my trip with 3 hours to spare. I'm still glad I took the first flight because no telling how badly the later flights were delayed.
Prepare for contingencies.
I see several people on the plane have missed connections. This, to put it mildly, sucks. Here's a tip for when this happens to you, and it probably will someday if you fly enough.
The one overworked gate agent probably isn't going to be much help. They're probably running back and forth from one gate to another trying to get planes boarded. Most likely they'll send you down to "Customer Service" where you'll stand in line with all the other lost souls.
You're much better off calling the airline's help number. Make sure you have this before you leave! Call the airline directly and rebook your flight with them. If you miss an international flight there's a good chance you'll have to go the next day. For that reason, I try not to schedule a tight turn to an international departure.
Keep your electronics charged.
I'm dragging four pieces of electronics with me: my laptop, my smart phone, the company's iPad that has my charts and manuals on it, plus my own 7-inch tablet. I doubt I'm the only one.
Some airports have plenty of outlets and others have virtually none. It can be a real fight sometimes to find a place to recharge your stuff.
I've taken to carrying a little USB battery that recharge my phone or my tablet.
Try to maintain a positive attitude.
If airline travel was ever fun it certainly isn't today. Things are going to happen. Bags will be lost. Connections will be missed. Flights will be delayed. Hotel shuttles will be late. Try to take it in stride and have a Plan B and a Plan C.
As the old joke goes: Fly if you've got the time. More time yet? Go by jet!