Are you really having a wonderful holiday, so brimming with warmth and good cheer you wish it would never end? Or are you among those who are only looking for relief when it will soon be over, left with a sense of disappointment, a touch of sadness?
I have this theory I'd like to offer up that might help, if not right now, but for next year's holiday. But you have to start now. No, not buying gifts a year in advance-- do people still do that?--but in changing our attitude about the entire concept.
Let's take a look. Everybody is being "good." Everybody is trying hard to be kind and loving. People cooked, planned, wrapped, mailed, cleaned and are emitting good cheer.
The trees are breathtakingly beautiful, the packages underneath a dazzling display of loving generosity. The tables will be laden to the breaking point.
Now what do we want or expect in return for all this effort? What is it we want come Christmas Morn? Why, after all we are putting out, whether we asked for a little or a lot, is there a feeling of Santa letting us down?
Most anyone close to small children really wants them to be happy. We want to see the wonder in their eyes reflected in the lights, brought out by Santa at the mall, and that truly magical moment when they'll discover their stockings filled to the brim.
But will all the presents in the world make up for a year of living with cross, impatient adults? Will one day of new toys bring health to an unhealthy environment?
A friend of mine confesses that for several years after her divorce, she really went overboard with gifts for her children. She calls it "guilt shopping" -- a good term to remember.
Generally, we want to bring smiles to those we love. We want to let others know that we appreciate them, that they are special. So, we buy them a nice gift. Why do we have to wait for Christmas? Why does the gift have to be bought? Are there no other times, no other ways to demonstrate what we feel?
Certainly, a moment's consideration will bring to mind an unexpected, unwrappable "gift" that we will forever treasure-- a letter, a smiling face at the back door, a shared moment of wonder and closenss.
We humans being what we are and life being what it is, it's a good idea to set aside special times that make us slow down and think a bit. We tend to get caught up in a lot of necessary details, we need our routines, and though we may have flashes of warmth towards those we love, especially those far away, sometimes it takes an occassion to make us stop, write that note, make that call and tell them what we feel.
I love the nostalgia that exudes everywhere during Christmas. The candlelight, the quiet moments, the reconnecting with friends, the music, create a feeling of magic for me, and a reaffirmation that there is a Santa Claus, who really does know what we want the most.
I think he does watch us all year. He watches us losing perspective and priorities as we struggle to survive in a land where concepts of financial success come before peace, glamour before truth, power before compassion. He watches us trying to find security in the form of possessions, we though we believe that we can buffer the forces of a hostile world by surrounding ourselves with "stuff."
And he watches us in this supreme flurry of good will as we buy-buy-buy, tyring to... what? What is this holiday all about, anyway?
Santa does know what we want most come Christmas Morn, but we're not going to get it until we learn how to give it. Until we figure out that the fanciest car, the richest mink, the brightest diamond won't make a bit of difference and we are going to feel sadness and disappointment.