Remember when Dennis Miller was funny? I don’t. But I do remember when people at least remembered that they thought he was funny. I did once see him make a good joke on Monday Night Football about measuring a close first down in angstroms. He got fired. I suspect the suits thought angstroms were computers programs with existential malaise.
But at least it was funny. Nowadays Miller has become a dreary minstrel on the rightwing talk show circuit, favoring the man-harpy O’Reilly, whom he affectionately and loudly calls “Billy;” a bluffing suggestion of working class communion between the millionaire from Long Island and the millionaire from Philly (Miller just listed his beach home in Southern California for $22 million). Few things are funnier than rich guys pretending to be blue collar drinking buddies. But that’s a different kind of funny.
Most recently Miller materialized on Billy’s show, looking grizzled and tweedy, to inform us that effete liberals and the French (virtually the same thing to the conservative brain) were responsible for the Charlie Hebdo terror attack. It’s hard not to wonder whether a guy who used the word “angstroms” in a football booth should talk smack about effeteness. With his practiced side-mouth Yinzer patois, Miller wisecracked that Americans (unlike those Frenchies, it goes without saying) need to be more like Don Corleone and get “messy” with Muslims. I guess he missed the whole Afghanistan/Iraq Mess with Muslims. So many conservatives have.
Yeah, that’s the ticket: Get Messy with Muslims. Sounds like a Selena Gomez song to go with the Instagram of her ankle. But as foreign policy, I wonder.
Frankly it was hard to tell which foreigners Miller and O’Reilly despised most, Arabs or the French, for letting Arabs into France. I’m betting it was the French, a people cursed with universal health care, strong unions, superb cuisine, and the tendency to read a lot: unholy things in conservative demonology. Italian mobsters, on the other hand, have emerged as the GOP’s model for American democracy.
Maybe Miller was just joking about severed horse heads. But, babe, show me where the people laugh.
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