From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Hey…Love yer Sig
Every now and agin' C&J drops in on random posts looking for signature lines (links, quotes, or other words of wisdom that automatically appear when you post a comment---you can create a "sig" at your user profile page). It's fun because it gives me a chance to explore posts I might not otherwise visit. And it's addictive because I'm a quoteaholic. Enjoy some brain candy…
“The main business of humanity is to do a good job of being human beings, not to serve as appendages to machines, institutions, and systems.” --Kurt Vonnegut, Player Piano (Mystic Michael)
"Tell the truth and run." --Yugoslav proverb (Quill)
“It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing
he was never reasoned into” --Jonathan Swift (jjohnjj)
I'm not always political, but when I am I vote Democratic. Stay Democratic, my friends. --The Most Interesting Man in the World (boran2)
"Save it for 2050." --Mark Penn on Obama's electability (throughaglassdarkly)
It's disturbing how much exercise and extra fries sound alike. (jwinIL14)
Cheers to Physics, without which there would be no golf. (pinhighin2)
"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass... it is about learning to dance in the rain." --Vivanne Grenne (remembrance)
Greed is not good. Greed is piggy. (elenacarlena)
And this round's winner, from Bob Johnson, summing up the heartbreak millions of Kossacks are feeling as we come to grips with the fact that the DK5 platform will limit your sig line to a cage in your profile page instead of free-range in every comment:
"You'll miss me when I'm gone." --Sig Line
As always, I bow to your superior sigging ability.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, January 19, 2015
Note: Yesterday's horoscope about being consumed by disease, famine and plague while sharing a cot with Sean Hannity was issued in error. It's actually today's horoscope. Yesterday's horoscope should have read: "Find a really good hiding place before tomorrow." We regret the error. ---Mgt.
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3 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til Obama's State of the Union address:
1
Days 'til the 5th annual
ION Autonomous Snowplow Competition in St. Paul, Minnesota:
3
Decrease in stress levels among women who share things via Twitter, email and photo-sharing sites, versus women who don't:
21%
(Source: Pew Research)
Square miles of the ocean that have been damaged by bottom-sraping fishing trawlers:
20 million
(Source:
The New York Times)
Percent chance 2014 was the hottest year on record:
100%
(Source: NASA/NOAA climate report)
Year the
Beagle-2 lander was lost on the surface of Mars before it was
found last week by the European Space Agency:
2003
Number of days Mitt Romney will be president during his lifetime:
0
(Source: Karma)
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Puppy Pic of the Day: The eyes have it…
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The first person not affiliated with
a war who has a memorial on the Mall.
CHEERS to Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. Once again we're thankful, and rather awestruck, by what he accomplished for black America---and, consequently, all of America---in his way-too-short life. (Denise Oliver Valez's tribute yesterday should be
required reading.) He was flawed, as all humans are. But he had that stubborn 'ol dream. And come hell or high water (or fire hoses or guns or nightsticks or jail time or whatever else the bigots could throw at the movement) he refused to shut up and sit down, or match violence with violence:
"Non-violence is a powerful and just weapon which cuts without wounding and ennobles the man who wields it. It is a sword that heals."
King and I co-existed on the Blue Planet for two-and-a-half years. Oops…there I go boasting again. Oh, and remember: there's no mail today, which also means no bills today. Thank you for that too, Reverend.
As usual, the "from the gravebuttal"
will be delivered by Ronald Reagan.
JEERS to a disproportional response. After meeting in their secret conference room (the one filled with plastic balls and Magic Claw machines), the Republican party announced that their official response to President Obama's State of the Union address will be delivered by…freshman Senator and hog castrator
Joni Ernst of Iowa, but not before Republican hate-group president Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council delivers the
pre-buttal tonight at 7 o'clock from under a bridge somewhere. Meanwhile, it was agreed that the tea party response (because tea party darling Ernst apparently isn't tea party enough) would be delivered by
Rep. Curt Clawson of Florida. The tea party response is, of course, the response that follows the traditional Republican response. Because, as I always say, what's a joke without a punchline?
CHEERS to good spelling. On this date in 1955, three years after Macy's made it a household name in America, Scrabble made its debut in Australia and the UK. The highest scoring word, if you've ever wondered, is "Sesquioxidizing," My highest-scoring word while sober: "Cow."
JEERS to not following your own advice. Last week Pope Francis said that freedom of speech shouldn’t include mockery of religious institutions. And yet here we are, once again watching the Catholic church make a mockery of itself:
The Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy Friday, becoming the 12th in the nation to say its treasury cannot withstand the unprecedented wave of lawsuits from clergy abuse victims.
The move freezes lawsuits against the church, protecting the archdiocese from creditors while allowing it to develop a reorganization plan. It also halts three abuse trials scheduled to begin Jan. 26. The archdiocese is facing more than 20 lawsuits, with another 100 pending.
What…God can't write a check?
CHEERS to another edition of Guess Who Didn't Get the Memo? Here's the memo:
This evening, Fox News formally apologized for a false claim about Muslims that was so egregious, even the Prime Minister of Great Britain and all of French television had to step in and call them out for it. “Over the course of this last week we have made some regrettable errors on air regarding the Muslim population in Europe … This applies especially to discussions of so-called ‘No Go Zones’ areas where non-Muslims allegedly aren’t allowed in and police supposedly won’t go.”
And here's who
didn’t get it:
The speech Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal (R) is set to give in London on Monday makes significant references to all-Muslim “no-go zones” in European cities.
This has been another edition of
Guess Who Didn't Get the Memo?
It's on.
CHEERS to nimble fingers vs. fumble fingers. If you missed the NFL action yesterday, here's what happened: Seattle beat Green Bay in overtime 28-22, and New England lassoed the Indianapolis Colts 45-7. So it'll be Brady vs. Wilson on February 1 during Super Bowl 20 + 18 - 5 + 4 + 6 – 3 + 9. As usual, the winners of that competition will be the Budweiser Clydesdales and whoever's turn it is to have a wardrobe malfunction.
CHEERS to the original "spokes" men---Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! On January 19, 1903, it was announced with great fanfare that the starting gun for a new bicycle race called the "Tour de France" would be fired that July. The grand prize: 3,000 francs and a lifetime supply of butt pillows.
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Ten years ago in C&J: January 19, 2005
CHEERS to rhetorical pistols at dawn. California Senator Barbara Boxer's aim was true during her reality-based grilling of Condi Rice yesterday:
One of the few senators
who made Condi sweat.
You know, if you were rolling out a new product like a can opener, who would care about what we said? But this product is a war, and people are dead and dying, and people are now saying they're not going to go back because of what they experienced there. And it's very serious.
And as much as I want to look ahead -- and we will work together on a myriad of issues -- it's hard for me to let go of this war, because people are still dying. And you have not laid out an exit strategy. You've not set up a timetable.
And you don't seem to be willing to, A, admit a mistake, or give any indication of what you're going to do to forcefully involve others. As a matter of fact, you've said more misstatements; that the territory of the terrorists has been shrinking when your own administration says it's now expanded to 60 countries. So I am deeply troubled.
Three immediate lies come to mind from Rice's testimony yesterday: 1) We made the right decision to invade. 2) We were fully prepared for the aftermath of the Iraq war. 3) The tsunami in Asia was a "wonderful opportunity" for us. Around these parts we call that perjury.
[1/19/15 Update: And this is one of many reasons I'm gonna miss ol' Barbara. Condi…not so much.]
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the most beautiful spread of land in the universe. Happy 86th Birthday---aka Acadia Name Day---to Maine's Acadia National Park! Miles and miles of unspoiled and federally protected nature that invites travelers to rest their weary bones and let the soul-replenishing eye candy revive their hopes for a better tomorrow:
Bass Harbor Head Lighthouse guards Acadia
National Park from roving tyranny armadas.
Or, as modern-day conservatives say when they visit: "Can we frack now? Huh huh, can we, can we??!!!"
Have a tolerable Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Republicans End Retreat Split On Key Issues---Except That Cheers and Jeers Is Bad
---TPM
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