From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
So Which is It?
An Oval Office visitor Inspects
Obama for brokenness.
As Barack Obama starts his seventh(!!!) year in office today, it's time once again for each of us to ask the question: "How will I know if he's a great president…or a broken one?"
I'm not convinced that we---a rabid pack of slovenly bloggers pecking away at our crumb-encrusted keyboards in our Underoos---are in a position to pronounce judgment on the most powerful public figure in the world. I hate to admit it, but this is a question for a higher power. Better yet, a Very. Serious. Person.
So once again we turn to America's grey-templed sage, David Brooks, to provide the wisdom we seek. Brooks knows all, sees all and pronounces all. He knows if President Obama is a great president or a broken one. In fact, he rendered judgment in January 2009, 12 days before "That One" took the oath of office for the first time (and 13 days before he took it for the second time because the Chief Justice botched it the first time):
"By this time next year, he'll either be a great president or a broken one."
Obama practices his "brokey face."
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After pulling the economy out of Bush's ditch (with no help from Republicans) and winning reelection in a landslide in 2012, the president is currently riding a wave of
rising poll numbers and
consumer optimism---hardly signs of a broken president. So, using Brooks's infallible logic, President Obama is breathing the heady air of greatness along with Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln and the Roosevelt boys.
So, for yet another year, America offers its humble thanks to David Brooks for retro-confirming the greatness of the presidency of Barack Hussein Obama.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, January 20, 2015
Note: If you're going to be in the Portland, Maine area this weekend, here's a quick reminder that there's a Kossack meetup Saturday, January 24, starting at noon. The place: Flatbread Pizza (where the pies are baked in an open-fire oven), on the waterfront next to the Casco Bay ferry terminal (and parking garage). We have 13 folks confirmed so far, and as a special bonus none of us have measles! To RSVP or get more info, email Kossack nhox42 at nhox42 [at] yahoo.com. Hope to see you there!
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3 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til
Australia Day:
6
Days 'til the
Fire and Ice Festival in Rochester, Michigan:
3
Number of presidential inaugurations John Marshall presided over (two Jeffersons, two Madisons, two Monroes, one J.Q. Adams and two Jacksons):
9
Percent chance that Lincoln was the first president to include African-Americans in his inaugural parade:
100%
An encore reminder of the 2008 Obama-McCain electoral college results:
365-173
An encore reminder of the 2012 Obama-Romney electoral college results:
332-206
Number of times the oath of office was given outside of Washington, D.C. (Washington, Adams, Arthur, Coolidge, T. Roosevelt, LBJ):
6
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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
A triple play from Hot Air:
If it’s Bush, Christie, or Huckabee (but especially Bush), not only will I refuse to vote for the nominee in 2016, but I will enjoy watching them lose.
---Dray
I like Cruz, but how can he be considered if he was born in Canada?
---RonRon at Hot Air
Screw that fat, ice cream eating, red sweater wearing, cowboy loving, obama hugging , bridge closing doucheb*g!!
---Elviis
All together now: 1…2…3…
Cl*ssy!
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Saved!
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CHEERS to the best seats in the house…er, the House. Thanks to the miracle of time travel (thank you, host wormhole!), we got a preview of tonight's State of the Union address. Please rise:
"My fellow Americans: I'm here tonight to report
that half the people in this chamber are nuts."
The President: Mister Speaker, Mr. Vice President, members of Congress, distinguished guests, and my fellow Americans, I come before you tonight to report that the state of our union is...
Republicans: "You lie!"…"Socialist!"…"Who asked you?!!"…"Say it, don't spray it!"…"Impeach now!"… "Quit leading from behind!" "Quit leading from in front!" "You should be leading sort of a bit sideways like a zig zag pattern!" "I hope you fail because if you fail America fails! Er, you know what I mean!"… "I'm mooning you on behalf of JOHN GALT!"…"Your hair is turning gray!"…"Could someone please remove the Communist infiltrators from the chamber?" ... "Tyranny!" …"Can we filibuster this windbag? How about an anonymous hold, then?"..."Look! I'm holding up a piece of paper with rebellious words on it!"..."You said this would be in IMAX!"…"I love lamp!"..."Build the dang fence!"…"RobbleRobbleRobble!"
The President: ...still a work in progress.
It's mostly smooth sailing from there.
P.S. Biden will sit next to Boehner again. Honest to God, Joe's gonna flash his blazing pearly whites so often that John's gonna leave the chamber a shade oranger.
P.P.S. If you're wondering who's attending tonight's State of the Union as a guest of the First Lady, here's a list of who will be sitting with her. Hint: the sanest people in the room.
JEERS to the yakkers on the other team. Considering how Republicans like to be seen as the strong, silent type, they sure plan on delivering a lot of whiny rebuttals tonight:
And podcasting from her base-
ment next to Marcus's Soloflex
catalogs: Michele Googly Eyes!
10pm Official rebuttal by Sen. Joni Ernst (R-IA)
10:30pm Tea Party rebuttal by Rep. Curt Clawson (R-FL)
11:00pm Global Warming Denier rebuttal by Sen. James Inhofe (R-OK), who will just stand outside, stare at the camera and make shivering noises.
11:03pm: Sarah Palin You Tube rebuttal by Sarah Palin. (Behind $5 paywall)
Midnight Ronald Reagan séance hologram rebuttal.
12:20am A reading of selected Fox News transcripts about Benghazi by Darrel Issa (R-CA)
Three Days Later The 2016 presidential candidates gather in a room to deliver the final rebuttal as a show of party unity, and end up spending an hour throwing chairs at each other.
You can watch them all on the We're So Broke We Have Nothing To Lose By Airing This Crap On Our Channel Channel.
CHEERS to thanksgiving---the state of mind, not the holiday. As in, thank goodness it was a Democrat---FDR---taking the oath of office for an unprecedented 4th time on this date in 1945. And, boy, does he look wrung-out:
We're sorry he had to be the one to find out that three terms is enough to kill a man. But thanks for winning a war worth fighting. And Social Security. Meanwhile, 54 years ago today, JFK gave his one and only inaugural address, during which he said: "Ask not what your country can do for you---ask what you can do for your country." Today I plan to bake 319 million brownies.
JEERS to preparing for the inevitable. Portland, Maine is situated on a peninsula, and there's a lot of development being done in the northwest "Bayside" area where a scrap-iron yard and other assorted eyesores once dominated the scene. Things were going smoothly, but now the developers are running into a little problem---climate change:
We hope you brought
your hip waders!
A city vote on whether to approve the long-awaited “midtown” development in Portland’s Bayside neighborhood has been delayed again, allowing time for the developer and the city to address a snag over flooding concerns. … Raising the elevations of streets and buildings is an issue that will likely resurface whenever new developments are proposed in Bayside and East Bayside---two burgeoning neighborhoods with a history of flooding problems that will only get worse if sea levels rise and storms become more extreme because of climate change.
But not everyone's alarmed. The climate-change deniers say it's not "global warming," it's "an excellent opportunity for expanding the gondola-based taxi sector."
CHEERS to small town celebrations. On January 20, 1981, 52 Americans held hostage in Iran for 444 days were finally freed. One of them, Bert Moore, lived in my hometown---Mt. Vernon, Ohio---and his son was in my class. The homecoming celebration (I played baritone horn on `Tie A Yellow Ribbon' as John Glenn and Howard Metzenbaum tapped their toes in approval) was Americana personified. Some days you just never forget.
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Ten years ago in C&J: January 20, 2005
JEERS to those lying liars. Write down today's date: The Republican point-man in the House, Louisiana Rep. Jim McCrery, now admits...ahem...that the GOP may have to raise your taxes in order to allow Bush to gut Social Security to his liking. Let's count how many times ol' Jimbo gets "accidentally" thrown in front of the presidential limo today.
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And just one more…
JEERS to role model hypocrisy. Presidential contender and human jowl Mike Huckabee thinks exemplary parents Barack and Michelle Obama aren't measuring up as parents, and are in need of a little huckadvice:
Her lyrics are tyranny.
"I don't understand how on one hand they can be such doting parents and so careful about the intake of everything---how much broccoli they eat and where they go to school and making sure they're kind of sheltered and shielded from so many things---and yet they don't see anything that might not be suitable for either a preteen or a teen in some of the lyrical content and choreography of Beyoncé, who has sort of a regular key to the [Whuite House] door."
Yes. This the same Mike Huckabee who played bass on his Fox News show while guest and Huckarolemodel Ted Nugent
sang:
His lyrics are American.
Well, I make the pussy purr with the stroke of my hand
They know they gettin' it from me
They know just where to go when they need their lovin' man
They know I'm doin' it for free
This is the same Ted Nugent, by the way, who invited Hillary Clinton to "suck on my machine gun," used various means to dodge the draft (up to and including pooping his pants), and suggested that he'd assassinate President Obama if he won reelection by insisting he'd end up "dead or in jail." So perhaps someone should tell ol'
Gladys Kravitz Huckabee to put the binoculars away. And then eat some broccoli. I hear it makes you smart.
Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Will the real Bill in Portland Maine please put his pants on?
---The Oregonian
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