A little snark prompted by an AlterNet piece...
Help wanted: Financial Industry Stress Testers
Apply to Tim Geitner at the U.S. Treasury Department
Wanted: Stress testers for financial firms bearing greatest responsibility for Great Recession in the United States. The ability of financial institutions to withstand such outside pressure without sustaining damage will prove beyond doubt the stability of their foundations.
Specific skills sought: Championship level professional and amateur ping pong players with ability to precisely hit financial institutions at selected targets with minimum force. A committee of building architects and engineers will identify the load bearing (thus strongest) elements of financial institutions as targets for single hit stress test. Accuracy is essential as a single hit is sufficient without risking any damage in the process of stress testing. Major structural damaged as confirmed by the targetting committee will be taken as proof of instability.
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Help wanted: U.S. Postal Service Stress Testers
Apply to Republican and Democratic lawmakers of the U.S.A. Congress
Wanted: Stress testers for the United States Postal Service (USPS) to ensure that the pension demands of all present and future USPS employees will not be a financial liability on federal tax dollars.
Specific skills sought: Anyone with experience at point and shoot video games who can be legally employed in their state. Seek ability to target any part of a USPS site with shielded on-site computer operated ground-to-ground missiles with minimal damage to adjacent structures. Any damage, superficial or otherwise, to any USPS facility is proof of failure. There will always be sufficient ammunition to destroy all structures in question.
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[links to original images can be found here and here