From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
The Perv Whisperer
For a while there I thought Maine Governor Paul LePage's second term wasn't going to amount to much. It seemed like he was chasing piddly stuff like trading wind farms for oil rigs off our coast and pushing a new budget that catapults sacks of money at the rich and fucks everybody else.
But I'm happy to admit I was wrong. The guv with the 140-inch neck is sticking it out for progress:
Gov. Paul LePage issued an executive order Friday prohibiting state employees from accessing pornographic or sexually explicit material on state computers or devices. “State agencies already have rules to prohibit this behavior at work, but the practice continues,” LePage said in a statement accompanying the executive order.
It's widely known that Porn can be a bad influence on people in the workplace, leading to dirty, inappropriate thoughts that slip out at inopportune moments. In fact, that
happened just recently and brought huge embarrassment to the state:
A line from "Fifty Shades of LePage"
The often-brash governor of Maine is at it again, this time using a sexually vulgar phrase to describe how he says a Democratic lawmaker is taking advantage of the people. "Senator Jackson claims to be for the people, but he's the first one to give it to the people without providing Vaseline," LePage said, according to WMTW. ... LePage acknowledged to WMTW that the comments could be offensive to some, saying, "Good. It ought to [offend], because I've been taking it for two years."
Whoo. That guy should've been fired.
So take heed, Maine state employees. Follow Governor LePage's directive: no more porn on your computers! Always keep it stashed in your bottom drawer under the bag of lollipops and the Penske file.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Note: Impeach February. Sign the petition.
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10 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the premiere of Season 5 of
Game of Thrones:
47
Days 'til the
Honolulu Festival:
10
Percent by which management salaries have grown faster than union workers' pay since 2009:
50%
(Bloomberg News)
Average number of bills female senators have introduced in the last 7 years:
96
Average number of bills male senators have introduced in the last 7 years:
71
(Source: Tribune News Service)
Age of National Zoo panda cub Bao Bao as of yesterday, a critical age when cubs separate from their mothers:
18 months
Ticket price at Disney's Magic Kingdom as of Sunday, up from $99:
$105
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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
DHS and amnesty. Bush family wet dreams for decades.
That family has pissed away the Reagan years and the entire Reagan legacy. It has been at war with us for 25 years. Now it has it's own network with Dana Perin0 and p0rky pig r0ve seemingly everywhere pushing for Jebby! We're saved!
---"Keep the Change" at Town Hall
All together now: 1…2…3…
Yippee!
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Puppy Pic of the Day: An analogy for the Republican effort to get the Keystone XL Pipeline built.
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JEERS to a coven of clowns. That stench you smelled yesterday was Congress ramping up for another stretch of incompetence, intransigence and invective. They're back in session this week, and it takes The Washington Post 14 paragraphs before it finally states the obvious:
The dome is a dunce cap now.
The chance for failure is real, given that in recent years, Congress has stumbled over traditionally bipartisan moves such as long-term funding for farm policy and highway construction and is on the verge of shutting down the Department of Homeland Security over a separate immigration dispute.
On the agenda: an authorization to vaporize ISIS using sharks with lasers….cutting off DHS's funding to spite Obama's immigration executive order….Benghazi hearings….calls for impeachment….probably a 57th repeal of Obamacare….and John Boehner meddles in an Israeli election by giving Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu unlimited time to deliver a campaign infomercial to a joint session of Congress. No need to strap yourself in. Remember, everything in that building now moves at the pace of a Kentucky turtle.
P.S. Democrats under the dome: your job is to show America that Republicans are still incompetent nutballs. Make some effing noise!
CHEERS to shutterbugs in space. Over the weekend a couple astronauts at the International Space Station went outside to do some maintenance (something about clearing off mynocks that were chewing on the power cables). It all went according to plan. And while they were outside they decided to put all earthly selfies to shame by taking some of their own. Below is Terry Virts's pic. Check out all the wires in the reflection of his helmet to get an idea of how freakin' complex the work is up there:
Two more spacewalks this week and they'll finally be wired for basic cable.
JEERS to the wackiest Christian soldiers in God's Army. Over the weekend the conservative Bible-thumpers in Alabama held another "sanctity of marriage rally" in Montgomery. The previous rally drew 50 people, and their efforts to stop gay marriage in its cloven-hoofed tracks failed. So last weekend they doubled down and brung a hundred:
As a result of this bigger and better rally to stop gay marriage in Alabama,
even more gays are getting married in Alabama. Wait…whose side are they on, again?
CHEERS to rendering Rachel Maddow speechless. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does it's a wonder to behold. This is also, by the way, a reminder that Piyush Jindal will never be president. Six years ago today, the Louisiana governor and exorcism advocate loped into a southern foyer scented with jasmine and gave his famous "Welcome to Mayberry" response to President Obama's address to Congress. The ensuing rhetorical disaster, during which, among other things, he invoked the government response to Katrina as an example of why Republicans should be trusted more than Democrats, provided an unforgettable moment in mass pundit shock…
A couple years back Jindal had a brief moment of lucidity when he called the GOP "The stupid party." Little did we know back then that he apparently meant it as a compliment.
JEERS to campaigning in poetry and governing in prose. This week it's the Grecians' turn to discover that frustrating little lesson:
Speaking for myself, this gets me through
my occasional bouts of Democratic whiplash.
Greece's left-wing government, led by Prime Minister Alexis Tspiras, was given a lifeline Friday when the Eurogroup of euro zone finance ministers reached a deal to extend the country's bailout by four months. Greece is now scrambling to present a list of reform proposals in order to secure the financial lifeline.
However some Greek people have accused the new government of back-tracking from election promises that it would "tear-up" the bailout memorandum, overseen by the so-called "troika" of the European Central Bank, International Monetary Fund and European Commission.
Yeah. We've been there. If it's any help, the international chapter of Victims of Flip Floppery meets tonight at 8. No need for a Greek-to-English dictionary. We all speak the universal language of teeth grinding.
CHEERS to the rocky, turbulent Maine Coast. Especially as depicted by artist Winslow Homer, born on this date in 1836. A sample of his handiwork circa 1895, titled "Northeaster"...
Best way to enjoy his work: indoors with a bowl of clam chowder and a hot toddy.
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Ten years ago in C&J: February 24, 2005
JEERS to the effete right. Remember when Bill O'Reilly and other wingnuts told their followers to boycott all things French at the start of the Iraq war? Turns out France is still selling a lot more stuff to us than we are to them...in fact, French imports were up 9% in 2004. So much for the party of discipline.
CHEERS to going out with a bang. According to his attorney, Hunter S. Thompson wanted his cremains to be shot out of a cannon at his Colorado ranch. An end as gonzo as his writing.
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And just one more…
Abe still rocks!
CHEERS to America's annual taking-of-an-important-pulse. Even more consequential than Groundhog Day, in my opinion, is the annual occasion known as
Is Abe Vigoda Still Alive Day. So let's check the tote board:
Abe Vigoda is…
…STILL ALIVE!!!
Yes, indeed, the
Barney Miller and
Godfather star (and long-time New York Friar's Club member) turns 94 today. Many blessings on your camels, Fish. As always, please forgive our snark, Tessio... It's nothing personal. Just business.
Have a nice Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"I’m ashamed of my country, I’m ashamed of Cheers and Jeers, and I’m ashamed of Bill in Portland Maine."
---John McCain
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