Yesterday, the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) was addressed by Osama Bin Laden, who received the "Andrew Breibart Defender of the First Amendment Award" from Citizens United.
Error Log: Oops; I made a mistake. In the above news report, I incorrectly identified the speaker as Bin Laden. In fact, the speaker is that OTHER gun-carrying religious fundamentalist who hates Americans because of their freedoms: Phil Robertson. Mr. Robertson, founder of the Duck Dynasty hunting company, and who was suspended from starring in the A&E TV reality show of the same name for his public bouts of gay bigotry, was at CPAC to accept the "Andrew Breibart Defender of the First Amendment Award" from Citizens United.
In his address to the CPAC attendees, Mr. Robertson showed why he is worthy of the "Defender of the First Amendment Award" with a speech where he pledged his allegiance to the Bible, and blamed sexually transmitted disease on beatniks and hippies: "There is a penalty to be paid from what the beatniks, and it morphed into the hippies -- you say, what do you call the 110 million with the sexually transmitted illness -- it is the revenge of the hippies! Sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll have come back to haunt us in a bad way." Has anyone informed former hippie Ted Nugent of the damage he has inflicted on his fellow Americans? Mr. Robertson continued: "You want a godly, biblical, medically safe option? One man, one woman, married for life, ... I don't want to see you die early or get sick. I'm trying to help you, for crying out loud."
Use of a latex condom would provide a more effective method of preventing sexually transmitted diseases, but is not approved by the Bible, so Mr. Robertson did not bring that up.