From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE
We Now Join Bomb Train Bingo Already in Progress...
Bingo Caller: The next oil car derailment is…the Kanawha River near Mount Carbon, West Virginia. Again, that's the Kanawha River near Mount Carbon, West Virginia.
Bingo players: [Daub daub daub daub daub daub daub]
The next winning derailment?
Bingo Caller: The next oil car derailment is…Gogama in northern Ontario. Again, that's Gogama in northern Ontario.
Lady at Table Six: Bingo!!!
Bingo Caller: Daubers down, we have a Bingo over at table six. My assistant will now please call out the derailments.
Bingo Caller's Assistant: Lac-Megantic, Quebec…Casselton, North Dakota…Galena, Illinois…Kanawha River, West Virginia...and Gogama, Ontario.
Caller: That's a legitimate Bomb Train Bingo. Congratulations, Gerty, you win 25 yards of oil-absorbing boom. Okay, daubers up, let's move on to a new Bingo. The next oil train derailment is in….
I shudder to think.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, March 12, 2015
Note: According to my latest algorithms, Donald Trump is the only hope we have for the future of humankind. So, uh…nice knowin' ya, humankind.
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8 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the Supreme Court hears arguments on same-sex marriage:
47
Days 'til the
Maine Boatbuilders Show:
8
Square feet per employee for the ideal office in the 1970s:
500 to 700
Projected square feet per employee by 2017:
151
(Source:
CBS News)
Percent of American adults who have never sent an email:
9%
(Source: FiveThirtyEight.com)
Number of Prime Ministers and U.S. Presidents Queen
Elizabeth II has seen in her 88 years:
18, 15
Minimum number of days "Britain will grind to a halt" when the Queen dies:
12
(Source:
Business Insider)
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
Elizabeth Warren, a Harvard law professor, pointed out in testimony before Congress that the [Bush bankruptcy] bill assumes everyone is in bankruptcy because they're spendthrifts. "A family driven to bankruptcy by the increased cost of caring for an elderly parent with Alzheimer's disease is treated the same as someone who maxed out his credit cards at a casino. A person who had a heart attack is treated the same as someone who had a spending spree at the shopping mall. A mother who works two jobs and who cannot manage the prescription drugs needed for a child with diabetes is treated the same as someone who charged a bunch of credit cards with only a vague intent to repay."
But hey, that's the conservative idea of justice---treat 'em all the same, except for the rich.
---March, 2005
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Tight squeeze
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2012 WH Correspondents Dinner
CHEERS to hobnobbin' with the late-night crowd. Programming alert: tonight Barack Obama will
make his first appearance on
Jimmy Kimmel Live since becoming president. He'll no doubt talk about the Selma anniversary, the Senate letter to Iran, and also the
Student Aid Bill of Rights. 11:30 on ABC. That means I'll be up past my bedtime. Don’t tell on me or I'll give you a purple nurple.
CHEERS to today's episode of Hey, Don’t Let the Door Hit Ya in the Ass on the Way Out, Creep:
"Hey, Ferguson, Missouri Police Chief Tom Jackson! Don’t let the door hit ya in the ass on the way out, creep."
This has been today's episode of
Hey, Don’t Let the Door Hit Ya in the Ass on the Way Out, Creep.
JEERS to too much water and not enough ShamWOW!s. Yesterday marked the four-year anniversary of the---in order of occurrence---8.9 earthquake, tsunami and meltdown at the Fukushima nuclear complex. Over 15,000 perished. And the fallout, whichever definition of that word you choose, continues:
3/11/11: The tsunami was bad.
The nuke blasts didn't help.
Radiation levels remain as much as 10 times above normal in areas surrounding the plant, and scores of towns and villages remain off-limits despite a massive cleanup effort. "At first, I thought we would be gone a few days or weeks. Now, I'm not sure if we will ever go back," said Kanno, 29. As Japan marks the anniversary of the March 11, 2011, disaster, officials concede that recovery throughout the region is lagging.
Nearly a quarter-million Japanese still live in temporary or interim housing. Hundreds of square miles of forests, farmland and townships remain uninhabitable because of radiation. Endless rows of thick vinyl bags filled with contaminated soil litter the countryside — but represent just a fraction of the land that must be scraped up and hauled away before residents can return. … The plant won't be fully decommissioned for at least three decades.
More details in joieau's
post. As cleanup continues for the foreseeable future at the reactor (a fact that has prompted entire countries to swear off nuclear), there were protests last Sunday calling for an end to nuclear energy. Meanwhile CBC News has a
photo gallery here. It's nature's world, we just live in it. Tenuously.
CHEERS to having a blast. I really shouldn’t let you back in this NASA restricted area, but since you're my best friend and nobody else is around, I'll make an exception. Push the button and watch "the largest, most powerful rocket booster ever built" ace its test:
More on the booster, which generates 3.6 million pounds of thrust and will be used for future space flights to infinity and beyond, here. By the way, history will note that this is the first time a booster has been deployed using the words, "Three...two...one...pull my finger."
JEERS to lying liars. Last fall as he was running for reelection, Maine's Teapublican governor took great offense when Democratic challenger Mike Michaud called him out for being what he is---a serial liar. In fact, Paul LePage threw an honest-to-god temper tantrum and refused to participate in debates until Michaud stopped "lying" (read: telling the truth) about him. Well, guess what? LePage is still lying, and it's a big deal:
"Hi, everyone!
Fuck conservation."
Gov. Paul LePage has gone back on his word and is holding nearly $11.5 million in voter-approved bonds hostage, according to state lawmakers and conservation groups. They say he is using the money targeted for conservation projects as leverage to gain approval for his proposal to harvest more timber on public lands.
LePage made the assurances after initially refusing to release funds for the state’s Land for Maine’s Future program in 2013 until the Legislature authorized his hospital debt payback plan. The plan was enacted, but the bond money, approved by voters in 2010 and 2012, has yet to be released.
What's worth less than a Republican's word? Beats the hell outta me.
Freak out!!! Le
Freak, C'est Chic
CHEERS to the fearsome fivesome. Thirteen years ago today, after a grueling selection process involving thousands of hues, shades, pigments and a $100 billion consultation fee for the Pantone Corporation, five colors were chosen to stand watch over America's shores as official representatives of the federal government's new Homeland Security Advisory System. During their first two years, Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge changed the alert level ten times, mostly due to the
dire threat of Democrats winning elections. They disbanded in April of 2011. True fact: Orange went on to become a traffic cone on the George Washington Bridge. I hear it's working on a book deal.
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Ten years ago in C&J: March 12, 2005
CHEERS to Bubba on the bounceback. Bill Clinton's surgery yesterday went fine, and he's already well enough to pat candystripers on the p'tootey. But something's a little odd: George H.W. Bush's flowers arrived before Hillary's.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the ex-candidate who's just the right height. Happy 68th Birthday to 6-foot 2-inch Mitt Romney! He'll no doubt find himself on the receiving end of a bunch of moocher-worthy big gifts and chocolate baked goodies today. If he's been really good, he'll get a new deluxe Etch-A-Sketch with which to re-create his dream of abolishing Obamacare (on Day One!), bombing Iran, trucking the "illegals" who haven't already "self-deported" back to Mexico (the Canadian illegals can stay), crushing unions, reinstating "Don’t Ask, Don't Tell," getting rid of Planned Parenthood, privatizing Social Security and opening the National Mall for oil drilling. President Obama may ring him up if he can take a moment away from his job of running the country. Paul Ryan will stop by after all the dishes have been washed to wash the dishes. And then he might say a few words:
We got him his usual gift: a tie with the bottom 47 percent lopped off.
Have a stiff and awkward Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Vice President Joe Biden is furious. Biden, who also serves as president of the Senate, blasted Senate Republicans in a long, angry statement for their letter to Cheers and Jeers, which he described as "an institution I revere."
---Huffington Post
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