Well, I'm going to warn you now, tonight is one of those nights where the Top Comments muse is not speaking to me. Total silence. In fact, I'm worried about her. Somebody should go check on her, actually.
Food is often something I often turn to when the muse isn't...musing? Tonight is no exception. I'm turning tonight to the subject of food porn. Who doesn't love a little food porn?
There's food porn, like above, that makes one salivate and admire the cook, as is the point. Then there's
shitty food porn. This captures the food that undoubtedly started out well intentioned, perhaps even with grand food porn aspirations, only to miss the mark completely. You can almost smell the tears and disappointment through your computer screen.
Really, shitty food porn is an art form in and of itself. There's almost something weirdly inspiring about it. Okay, not really. But it's good for a laugh at least. And I think we can all identify with some of these failed attempts at culinary masterpieces.
I subscribe to Reddit's r/shittyfoodporn, which is where I'm getting the material for this diary. Follow me below the spilled sauce for a depressing journey through some of the most delightfully shitty food porn I could find...
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Please come in. You're invited to make yourself at home! Join us beneath the doodle...
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Of course, like in the picture above, we have the obvious disasters. Like this attempt at homemade ketchup (why anybody would do that in the first place, I'm not sure):
But then there are the simply depressing pictures. You know, the kind that reek of loneliness and heartache.
Who
hasn't been there, amirite?
Then there's just the plain disgusting. Bologna cake with mayonnaise and mustard icing, anyone?
Or perhaps some microwaved winegums with defrosted spinach and horse meat is more to your liking.
I think my favorite shitty food porn, though, is the shitty food porn that also has confidence, that
presents itself with pride.
Who's hungry? Bon crappétit!
Now, from the bottom rung of food porn to the top commentary on the Great Orange Satan...
TOP COMMENTS
April 3, 2015
Thanks to tonight's Top Comments contributors! Let us hear from YOU
when you find that proficient comment.
From a2nite:
This is an excellent comment by Angie in WA State among many about what we need to do to restore no create real small d democracy.
From your diarist, Chrislove:
In xxdr zombiexx's hilarious diary #ThingsJesusNeverSaid, ontheleftcoast offers up one that nearly made me spit my drink out.
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TOP PHOTOS
April 2, 2015
Enjoy jotter's wonderful PictureQuilt™ below. Just click on the picture and it will magically take you to the comment that features that photo. Have fun, Kossacks!
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