I'm not renting to you. In fact I'm evicting you. You can't get a bank loan approved by me. You can't get a car loan approved by me. You can't order food in my restaurant. I think you need to stay out of my school, store, and hospital. You can't adopt any children. If you have children, I think I might have to take them away.
Don't tell me I can't do this. My religion requires me to. You're being intolerant of my religion when you do that.
People like you are some of my best friends.
Very truly yours,
Piyush "Gilligan" Jindal