Happy Friday! Grocery day for us, so we’ll be leaving early to get in during the “compromised immune system and elderly hour”. Hopefully we can find some paper towels, because we used most of ours up cleaning the kitchen after the fire in the oven. New oven is here, so that’s a plus, and makes shopping a bit easier.
As you can see by Itzl's concerned look, this group is for us to check in at to let people know we are alive, doing OK, and not affected by such things as heat, blizzards, floods, wild fires, hurricanes, tornadoes, power outages, or other such things that could keep us off DKos. If you're not here, or anywhere else on DKos, and there are adverse conditions in your area (floods, heatwaves, hurricanes, etc.), we are going to check up on you. If you are going to be away from your computer for a day or a week, let us know here. We care!
IAN is a great group to join, and a good place to learn to write diaries. Drop one of us a PM to be added to the Itzl Alert Network anytime! We all share the publishing duties, and we welcome everyone who reads IAN to write diaries for the group! Every member is an editor, so anyone can take a turn when they have something to say, photos and music to share, a cause to promote or news!
Monday Crimson Quillfeather
Tuesday ejoanna
Wednesday Pam from Calif
Thursday art ah zen
Friday FloridaSNMOM
Saturday currently up for grabs
Sunday loggersbrat
As to the rest. I’m just tired. I’m tired of fighting to breathe, I’m tired of fighting to move, I’m tired of being in pain pretty much all the time. I’m tired of being caught in a catch 22. I can’t do the PT I need to do to help my FND because I can’t breathe well enough. I am even having trouble sticking to my pulmonary rehab between difficulty breathing and just not being able to move enough and hurting too much to move that much. And I’m dozing off every afternoon again lately which I hate.
I’m tired of feeling useless. My daughter is stressed out because she has to handle everything around the house plus get her school work done. I can’t do crap to help because every time I try I end up on the nebulizer. She’s stressed too because she planned to work this summer and put money aside for a CNA course as well as get some experience she can put on a job application/resume later on. And now it looks like that’s unlikely to happen this summer. I’m intending to put money aside out of the stimulus money to help with the CNA course. I can’t do much about the job experience though.
Some of it is the stress of Covid and worrying about that and it making everything more difficult. Some of it is just being tired because exhaustion comes with the FND and the Fibromyalgia and isn’t helped much by breathing difficulties either. Some of is just being tired of dealing with all of this chronic illness crap. Those people who say that people with chronic illnesses are just lazy should try dealing with all this crap and see what they think then. I’d much rather be working, and able to, you know, walk across the house without having to stop and take a break midway. I have to think about *everything* before I do it, figure out if I CAN do it, and then if it’s worth the expenditure of energy and air. Even something as simple as getting up and getting a drink, or taking my other half a bottle of aleeve. I feel bad calling the kids to do such little things all the time. And yet, when I try to do it, I regret it because I end up on the neb or I end up twitching for the next half hour.
I just want to feel like myself again.