Gooooooooooooooood Morning, Cafeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
Pull up a chair, have a cuppa and a nosh, and get ready to giggle!
Thanks to marge, in Friday’s KTK, she shared that the Bulwer Lytton Awards for 2020 are out!
2020 Grand Prize
Her Dear John missive flapped unambiguously in the windy breeze, hanging like a pizza menu on the doorknob of my mind. Lisa Kluber, SFCA
Vile Puns
Winner
As the passing of Keith Richards was announced on the evening news, just as had been done with Mick Jagger, Charlie Watts, and Ronnie Wood before him, Jorge gazed at the television in his Tijuana home and felt a sickening knot form in his stomach, for he realized that finally, after all the albums, concert tours, and era-defining cultural impact, the Rolling Stones would gather no más.
Aaron Cabe, Hillsboro, OR
Dishonorable Mentions
With a whole Holst of problems Mahler Liszt unRaveling from the Verdi beginning, Chaz was the most clueless employee ever at SCHUBERTTER BELIEVE IT!, but the straw that Baroque the camel's Bach—that led his supervisor to finally fly Orff the Handel—was watching as Chaz lost his balance while attempting to climb a ladder with his arms containing the entire store inventory, and he decided once and for all that Chaz was destined for the Chopin block. Amy Torchinsky, Chapel Hill, NC
Enid shrewdly considered the lushness of litigation for copyright infringement as she once more reviewed her genealogical studies which revealed that her aunt, Senta Berger, whose first husband was Gregor Mendel and second was Carl Czerny made her a Senta Mendel Czerny.
F. Michael Angelo, Plowville, PA
With all three baserunners standing on second base and two of them crying, Little League umpire Brittany Skiles thought to herself; ‘Rule Brittany; Brittany waive the rules.’
Greg Homer, San Vito, Costa Rica
A young and only slightly slack-shouldered Igor acted on his hunch —that University of Ingolstadt organic chemistry morgue interns (whose collective job was to replace decaying corpses with ‘fresh’ cadavers) might better recall the destination protocol with an appropriate mnemonic device: “to Victor go the spoils.”
Peter S. Bjorkman & Benjamin P. Bjorkman, Rocklin, CA
Oh, how many times have I thought this very thing!!
The rules of drama are many and varied, but the most important, as stated by the great writer Chekhov, is that if there is a banana covered in axle grease in act one, then you’d better hope that the theater burns down before act five.
Arlen Feldman, Colorado Springs, CO
There are plenty of other categories to giggle over, so go….enjoy!!
Meanwhile, this caught my eye and funny bone:
What would you like to talk about this morning?