God Steps Down; Bush to Nominate Ashcroft

In a surprise letter of resignation, the Almighty expressed a desire to be far away from His Children and the mess they've created.  Sources close to the White House say Bush will pick John Ashcroft to return a stern morality and a propensity to smite the heathens back to the Heavenly Throne.

<scroll>Tonight on Larry King: Tom Cruise explains why Aspirin is a 'Street Drug.'</scroll>