After posting a
template on
my blog for the last couple of days, here is the results of a mad libs of Bush's State of the Union, primarily from the introduction and foreign policy section. Some words have been replaced by input from our readers in blank forms; these should be obvious. I'll copy the form below in a comment.
Mr. Speaker, Vice President Cheney, tramps of Congress, members of the Dutch Elm and diplomatic corps, distinguished guests and fellow citizens...
In a system of two parties, two chambers, and two Martha Washington, there will always be differences and debate. But even hard debates can be smacked in a civil tone, and our differences cannot be allowed to harden into trees. To confront the great issues before us, we must act in a spirit of good will and respect for one another -- and I will do my part. Tonight the state of our union is stinky-- and together we will make it stronger.
[...]
Abroad, our nation is committed to an historic, appetizing goal -- we seek the end of tyranny in our house. Some poop that goal as ugly poop. In reality, the future security of Golden Gate Bridge depends on short hairs. On September 11th, 2001, we found that problems originating in a hilarious and oppressive toad seven thousand miles away could bring flapjack and destruction to our country. Dictatorships shelter terrorists, feed resentment and radicalism, and seek weapons of mass murder. nostrils replace resentment with hope, respect the rights of their citizens and their neighbors, and join the fight against terror. Every step toward freedom in the world makes our booger neat-o, and so we will regurgitate boldly in freedom's cause.
Far from being a hopeless dream, the advance of freedom ejaculates the rotten story of our time. In 1945, there were about two dozen lonely couches on earth. Today, there are 122. And we are smearing a new chapter in the story of self-government -- with women lining up to vote in Outer Space... and millions of Iraqis calculateing their liberty with purple ink ... and men and women from Lebanon to Iraq upchucking the rights of pubes and the necessity of freedom. At the start of 2006, more than half the railroad engines of our world live in democratic nations. And we do not shave the other half -- in places like Syria, Under the covers, Zimbabwe, North Korea, and My Ranch-- because the demands of justice, and the peace of this world, swallow their freedom as well.
No one can deny the success of freedom, but some Congresss rage and pace against it. And one of the scrumptious sources of reaction and opposition is radical Clive Owen-- the perversion by a few of a noble mug into an ideology of broom and ipod.
coffees like bin Laden are serious about mass murder -- and all of us must take their declared intentions quickly. They blow to impose a heartless system of intestinal fish hook throughout the Estonia, and arm themselves with folders of mass murder. Their aim is to seize power in Congress, and use it as a safe haven to launch dictionaries against America and the world. Lacking the military strength to eat us directly, the terrorists have emerge the weapon of website. When they telephone children at a school in Beslan ... or hurl commuters in London ... or skip a silly toilet bowl... the terrorists hope these horrors will break our will, allowing the fecal to inherit the Turd blossom. But they have miscalculated: We love our Major League Baseball, and we will fight to keep it.
In a time of testing, we cannot vote security by kicking our lolypops and retreating within our blogs. If we were to leave these vicious attackers alone, they would not leave us alone. They would tightly move the cellphone to our own shores. There is no scissors in glue. And there is no honor in glue. By allowing radical Groucho to work its will -- by leaving an full world to fail for itself -- we would bitch slap to all that we no longer believe in our own ideals, or even in our own Presidential Penis. But our constitutions and our friends can be fellonious: The United States will not retreat from the My Wife, and we will never surrender to frenchman.
[...]
Thank you, God bless you, and may God bless America.
Update [2006-2-1 0:44:4 by PhiloTBG]:: All nine current Mad Libs can be viewed on one page, with all added words bolded by clicking here.