Warning: Lots of snark and sarcasm from an opinionated woman! Proceed with caution!
TL;DR: last nite,I had a painful text conversation with a good friend. Of course, she did tell me that I “talk too much and say too little.” The truth hurts, I guess. No, she’s not gone MAGA.
Background: “Brenda” and I really don’t have a lot in common, though we’ve been friends a very long time. We’re the same age. Not really sure why we hit it off, TBH. You listen to her talk because you’d feel stupid to say you don’t understand. Brilliant, but kind of obsesses on certain topics. I do too, but different ones. She makes me feel stupid, and I’m far from it. She’s a veteran (Cold War-era) who exercises compulsively; I was too chickenshit to enlist, even in my stupidly patriotic youth. Brenda has a graduate degree in history; I only have a bachelor’s in two “useless” liberal-arts subjects (read: couldn’t earn income with either. Long story). She is more analytical; I’m more emotional. Spoiler: Brenda is emotional too, doesn’t want to admit it. I will say that I’ve been much luckier in love; Mr. L and I have been together over three decades. B has been married three times (just stating a fact).
But in the last few years I’ve begun to dig through my personal sack of garbage. Have begun to discard a lot of it, and I’m proud of this because I’ve worked very hard to reach this point. I’m almost 60 now and give a a lot fewer fucks than I used to. If that bothers people, them’s the breaks. Few folks ever cared about hurting me in the past! And the worst part: I’m now committing the sin of talking too much!!! I don’t want to put up with anyone’s BS anymore. And OMG, I’m not that attractive, either! (the worst sin for a woman, according to assholes)
This now puts me in the category of people who should “have a big cup of STFU.” Brenda’s words. No one else has ever said that to me, friend or not.
Nor have I ever told her that, although she’s pretty damned loquacious herself. And sometimes even boring! She could easily kick my scrawny ass.
I told Brenda on Monday that I’d like to leave the U.S. because, frankly, I don’t want to be here if tfg wins. Mr. L and I are likely on somebody’s watch list. Said I was thinking about the UK since mom’s roots are there, and some of dad’s. I’d rather call B, but she’s in Germany doing research for a book she’s writing. Yeah, she’s a writer too. Why she wants to be friends with an underachieving no-account is anyone’s guess/ Snark (Unkind folks might say my ancestors were hillbillies. It’s true, but no reason to be ashamed. Several fought on the Union side in the Civil War.)
She told me it’s easier to leave the U.S. than it is to get into another country (no shit, sherlock). Hence my telling her my ancestry, maybe it might help get us into the UK. People seem to require a lot of explantions for my stupid ideas. Imagine wanting to leave the U.S. if tfg wins! WTF’s wrong with Ms. Legion?
B says she can’t leave, wants to fight it out. It seems like she wants to go out in a blaze of glory, shoot it out with MAGAs, maybe? She is currently married to a veteran, too, both very good with guns. Well, I don’t have military training. I don’t like guns, and would rather not have one. But I would learn if I had to. B said there’s NO WAY she could train me or Mr. L. Why not? No explanation, really. Just a flat “no.”
And the kicker, before the STFU. “There’s no point in getting yourself upset about this, (Ms. Legion). You’ll just make yourself sick.” That’s fair, I have done this in the past. But she’s the one who thinks she “can’t leave.” She’s a big believer in Stoicism, which is fine as far as it goes. But I’m not Aurelius. I don’t want to just “accept” my way into some kind of camp.
My Irish is getting up, and I can have a nasty temper. How fucking dare she tell me I “talk too much and say too little.” I’ve listened to TMI from her on occasion, not disagreeing with her for fear she will rip my head off. I’ve walked on eggshells during our friendship, not wanting to set her off by disagreeing with her. WTH!
And Now...it comes down to STFU. I politely suggested that she could maybe follow her own advice. Whether we/I can salvage this, I don’t know. But I don’t want to throw away an old and close friendship. Jesus tap-dancing Christ, this sucks.
Thank you for reading this! Feel free to tell me to STFU : )