Brilliant. Absolutely fucking brilliant. Jon Stewart covered the Fox News freakout over rapper Common being invited to the White House for a poetry reading, because of ONE poem he wrote years ago that they deliberately misinterpret to make him sound like a violent rapper. This caused Jon to create his own Fox News rap.
Now, the more explicit lyrics describing violent action that Hannity was quoting, those lyrics actually end on the couplet,
"No time for that, cos' there's things to be done
Stay true to what I do, so the youth dream come."
Basically, what Common appears to be saying is, "Hey, you know that violence I was talking about earlier in my poem? Let's end that in our communities so our dreams can come true." It's a call for peace. But Hannity makes a good point, it sounds like killing cops to him.
And if Fox News stands for anything, it is a zero tolerance policy of any individual who might have, or actually did write a song about cop-killing.
STEVE DOOCY (2/16/2010): And Happy Birthday to actor and rapper Ice-T, he is 52.
(Jon facepalms)
Well, that's, to be fair, that's different, because Ice-T wasn't celebrating his birthday with Obama.
Video and transcript and lyrics below the fold.
Remember like a week ago, the President released his birth certificate, and celebrated his newfound citizenship by having someone shoot Osama bin Laden in the face? It felt like the events were connected, like maybe we'd finally put all these ginned up and ridiculously overblown non-controversies, like the birther thing, to rest; to focus on things that matter: winning the war on terror, those types of things, budget, fiscal things, getting things done. Well, I hope you enjoyed that period of our country.
5/11/2011:
MARTHA MACCALLUM: First Lady Michelle Obama is hosting a poetry reading, and one of her guests is raising a lot of eyebrows tonight. He's a Chicago poet, and he's a rapper who goes by the stage name Common.
STEVE DOOCY: He's a Reverend Wright defender, it sounds like he's a promoter of cop-killing, I've looked at some of his lyrics, they are raunchy, they are rough, they are raw.
KARL ROVE: Uh, yeah, let's invite a misogynist to the White House.
Are we really doing this again? For this guy? Common? The guy from the Gap ads? The guy from the Queen Latifah rom-com? Elmo's friend?
That's the guy? That's the guy we're going to do this for? That's your misogynist cop-icidal black supremacist?
Hey Fox News, have you told the people who work on FoxNews.com yet?
10/20/2010:
JASON ROBINSON, FOXNEWS.COM: And I am here with Common, how you doin', Common?
COMMON: What's goin' on? How you doin'?
JASON ROBINSON, FOXNEWS.COM: Your music is very positive, you're known as the conscious rapper. How important is that to you, and how important do you think that is to our kids?
Well, I guess that explains FoxNews.com's slogan.
I mean, for God's sake, this two-time Grammy-winning vegetarian's invite to the White House has the twitterverse very upset. And by twitterverse, I don't mean people on Twitter. I mean twits... who took the time to ignore Common's entire body of work, save for one poem he wrote in 2007 that they appear to misunderstand.
MARTHA MACCALLUM: "Killing over oil, burn a bush cos' for peace he no push no button"
SEAN HANNITY: No weapons of destruction.
How can we follow a leader when this is a corrupt one?
ALISYN CAMEROTA: Tell the law my Uzi weighs a ton
I walk like a warrior, from them I won't run.
5/10/2011:
SEAN HANNITY: He's talking about popping guns and "I got the black strap to make the cops run. They watching me. I'm watching them." Then he uses a couple of....
JAMES PETERSON: Again, the context....
SEAN HANNITY: Wait a minute, whoa whoa whoa! "When we roll together with a strapped gun, we're going to be rocking them to sleep." That sounds like killing cops to me.
JAMES PETERSON: Sure, listen....
SEAN HANNITY: Whoa whoa, that sounds like killing cops to me. Sound like killing cops to you?
No.
Well, if you enjoyed that, you'll love this album of Fox News personalities uncomfortably ruining songs from many of your other favorite hip-hop artists.
Now, the more explicit lyrics describing violent action that Hannity was quoting, those lyrics actually end on the couplet,
"No time for that, cos' there's things to be done
Stay true to what I do, so the youth dream come."
Basically, what Common appears to be saying is, "Hey, you know that violence I was talking about earlier in my poem? Let's end that in our communities so our dreams can come true." It's a call for peace. But Hannity makes a good point, it sounds like killing cops to him.
And if Fox News stands for anything, it is a zero tolerance policy of any individual who might have, or actually did write a song about cop-killing.
STEVE DOOCY (2/16/2010): And Happy Birthday to actor and rapper Ice-T, he is 52.
(Jon facepalms)
Well, that's, to be fair, that's different, because Ice-T wasn't celebrating his birthday with Obama.
But what about the phrase in Common's poem, "Killing over oil, burn a bush cos' for peace he no push no button"? Appears to be a metaphorical call for violence against the President. And while it isn't, you could say it was. It'd be like saying to the critics of the President, "Don't retreat, reload!" You know, or drawing targets over your political opponents. But surely Fox wouldn't defend that type of incendiary language.
4/16/2010:
BYRON YORK: We've heard Sarah Palin say that her supporters shouldn't relax or retreat, they should reload...
GRETA VAN SUSTEREN: ... which is a very Alaskan type term
BILL O'REILLY (1/10/2011): Political rhetoric often uses military terms: holding your fire, search and destroy, that kind of thing.
SEAN HANNITY (1/19/2011): It's very sinister to me, because I think there's an effort here to silence opposition voices.
GLENN BECK (1/10/2011): ... anything to shut her down, shut me up, shut talk radio down, shut Fox News off. Then everything will be sunshine and lollipops.
Oh right! Like the Obama administration would allow us to have sunshine and lollipops. More like SPF50 and broccoli. Hey, but you know what? Maybe I should re-examine some of these lyrics. Maybe I'm being unfair by showing Fox News personalities holding a musician to a much higher standard of language and behavior, than a potential Presidential candidate.
I mean, anybody who wrote a song with the lyric:
First time I shot her, I shot her in the side
Hard to watch her suffer,
But with the second shot she died
Or (rapping)
Early one mornin' while makin' my rounds
I took a shot of cocaine and I shot my woman down
I mean, that is some hardcore shit. I hope a killer like that is never allowed anywhere near a President of these United States.
4/22/2002:
GEORGE W. BUSH: Johnny Cash, the man in black ... Major, please read the citation.
MAJOR: Johnny Cash, for his contributions to the music and entertainment industry...
(Jon facepalms again)
(in George Bush voice) I heard you shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. Hehehehe.
I mean, seriously, Hannity, what's the difference? What's the difference? Would you be this concerned about a musician who used this same type of rhetoric and violence about President Obama?
SEAN HANNITY (5/10/2011): If this was somebody that used the same type of rhetoric about violence against President Obama, I would be against it.
Oh, if only we had the tape. I mean, that would really make you look bad. It's too bad we spent all day listening to old Johnny Cash albums, because we love him, and we love him and we were dancing all day, and so we didn't have a chance to find a tape that would be the absolute clearest.... I'm kidding, we have it.
8/24/2007:
TED NUGENT: I said, Hey Obama! You might want to suck on one of these you punk! Obama, he's a piece of shit. I told him to suck on my machine gun! ... I said, Hey Hillary, you might want to ride one of these into the sunset, you worthless bitch!
SEAN HANNITY: That was friend and frequent guest on the program Ted Nugent expressing his feelings towards Democratic Presidential contenders Barack Obama and Hillary Rodham Clinton....
BOB BECKEL: Are you prepared to disavow this lowlife?
SEAN HANNITY: No, I like Ted Nugent. He's a friend of mine.
(audience pissed, boos Hannity)
This isn't even fun anymore. I barely even get angry about this, I just feel sorry for you guys now. It took longer to play that clip than to find it. We've actually started burying these tapes around the office just to make it sporting.
It's almost impossible to express how ridiculous this, and you, all are at this point. It's beyond a caricature of your own cartoon. I think the only way to get it across would be through a more artful medium, a more expressive form, perhaps a musical iteration of spoken word.
Gimme a beat, yo! (nothing happens) Drop some beats, yo! (nothing happens)
(Jon takes out a metronome and begins to rap)
Yeah, yeah, this goes out to Fox News, and all the pundits I address on tonight's show.
Yo Fox, you create shocks, with no awe,
You dress like eagles, but squawk like chickenhawks,
You're pigeons on a statue
Leaving little puddles of lie behind you.
Goin' after Obama week after killin' Osama,
Creating drama, and let me put in a comma,
A pause, because I... need... a minute... to think of what to say next... that would rhyme....
You push bullshit,
The kind you find fall from a Schnauzer's behind
Have you lost your damn mind?
You got lazy. It's crazy.
Even Glenn Beck's leaving because he thinks you're fugazi.
You still got Gretchen, she's fetchin',
But the truth that you're stretchin' leaves me retchin'.
I'm not kvetchin'. Am I kvetching?
Hannity, Hannity, yo, straight up insanity.
Hey homes, let me take a momes,
To pour one out for Alan motherfuckin' Colmes!
O'Reilly. Oh really?
I know that you feel me.
Cuz I jokes to the folks
While you choke on that smoke.
Are you toking on weed
That you got from Kilmeade
To push screed that misleads?
To plant seeds of mistrust
That Miss Greta Van Sust....
...erenenenenen just ran
On her show a night ago?
Cuz Megyn Kelly said so?
And you know I'm about to go
So I'm tellin' yo' ass, yo:
Y'all blow!
Stew-beef out!
Then, Lewis Black looked at who might replace Osama bin Laden. Last night, Jon looked at how former Bush administration officials are coming out of the woodwork to claim credit for killing Osama thanks to their torture methods, and then he updated "Gaywatch" for this new decade, and showed a really hilarious yet disturbing clip of Gloria Allred not helping. This lampooning continued when Will Ferrell came out for the interview with a certain prop.
And Stephen took the next step in dealing with Viacom's lawyers in creating his own SuperPAC. And it looks like Stephen's actually hired former McCain '08 lawyer Trevor Potter to be HIS lawyer now. Wow.