From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Top 6 Reasons to Sign Up for Health Insurance at healthcare.gov Today
6. You only have six days left to sign up for coverage starting January 1st.
5. Did somebody say excellent benefits? Like no denial for pre-existing conditions? Like keeping dependents on your plan until age 26? Like a bunch of free preventive care services? Like no lifetime caps? And in many cases premiums are lower than last year? Why yes. Yes, I did.
4. Your insurance card doubles as a convenient windshield scraper in winter and cooling fan in summer.
3. I can’t tell you what #3 is. You’ll just have to trust me.
2b. Because enrolling means you’re, like, a responsible adult and stuff.
2a. It’ll piss off “Healthiest Man in America” (just ask him) Donald Trump so much that he’ll barely be able to wolf down his two platter of hamberders, fries, extra-large slab of the best chocolate cake (believe me), and Diet Coke. Hell, it might even send him to the ER for even more “routine physical.”
And the #1 reason, courtesy of Daily Kos’s brainwrap (aka Charles Gaba) at ACASignups.net:
Again: 6 days.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold...[Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, December 9, 2019
Note: Today is random drug test day, so find a random drug and test it. If it makes you smell colors and taste sounds, please share! —Mgt.
-
By the Numbers:
Days 'til Britain's elections: 3
Days 'til the start of the Festival of the Last Minute in Portland, Oregon: 10
Number of the 100 congressional districts with the highest rates of college degree-holders that are represented by a Democratic congress member: 89
Number of the 11 GOP-held districts that appear flippable in 2020, according to Daily Kos Elections' Stephen Wolf: 8
Factor by which LGBTQ voters prefer Elizabeth Warren over the other Democratic candidates, according to a YouGov poll: 2-to-1
Estimated number of Americans the Trump administration is throwing off the rolls for food stamp assistance: 688,000
The last time Trump's approval rating reached 43% in FiveThirtyEight's aggregate of all polls: 3/15/17
-
Puppy Pic of the Day: Dramatic reenactment of the Titanic scraping the iceberg…
-
CHEERS to just another manic Monday. Hootchie kootchie and Katie bar the door, this is gonna be the news cycle that keeps on news cycling. House Judiciary Committee impeachment hearings kick things off at 9. Then there's the D.C. Circuit Court of Appeals hearing on Trump's emoluments violations. Then the Inspector General's report comes out showing that Trump's "deep state" conspiracy is bullshit. Then more secret files will be released by the daughter of that dead guy who, with the Republican party’s blessing, tried to gerrymander the entire universe based solely on hatred of black people. Then… Oh hell, it might be easier if you just print this out and keep it in your wallet for handy reference (and 5% off your next Impeachment Slam at Denny's):
Also today: Mitch McConnell will briefly emerge from Vladimir Putin's butt. If he sees his shadow it means 13 more months of Republican fealty to Moscow. But if he doesn't see his shadow, it means 13 more months of Republican fealty to Moscow.
CHEERS to another Happy Hippie Hoedown. A good time was had by all at the fall New England Daily Kos/C&J Meetup at Robert's Maine Grill in Kittery, Maine Saturday. On hand for the event were—[takes deep breath]—mayim, radical simplicity, Vacationland, nhox42, Simple, brillig & mik, freedapeople, DtheO, Ed Tracey, Common Sense Mainer & BiPM, and C&J’s rescue pooch Haley (celebrating her 7th birthday with a heaping doggie bag full of leftovers). Here's most of the motley crew just as the cops were arriving (we escaped out the back):
Among the business that was conducted: reading the minutes from the last Meetup (“Ate, drank, bitched, belched”), followed by eating, drinking, bitching, belching, parsing politics,and unanimously passing a resolution preventing Barron from becoming a baron. (But if he cleans his plate on Christmas eve we might green-light a path to earldom.) Be sure to let us know in C&J if you'd like your next meetup to get some publicity. They're fun, they’re cathartic and, as always, time spent at a meetup is never deducted from your lifespan.
CHEERS to AOC vs. Goliath. Remember when Amazon wanted to hoover up three-billion-with-a-b dollars in taxpayer money in exchange for locating a facility in New York City with all kinds of nebulous employment promises on which corporations are famous for reneging? Rep. Alexandria Ocasio Cortez helped put the kibosh on the deal and a bunch of people wailed oh noez Amazon will never speaks to New Yorkzes City again! Erm….
Amazon is moving into NYC despite the lack of subsidies.
“The giant online retailer said it has signed a new lease for 335,000 square feet on the city’s west side in the new Hudson Yards neighborhood, where it will have more than 1,500 employees,” The Wall Street Journal reported. … “The new lease represents Amazon’s largest expansion in New York since it stunned the city by abandoning those earlier plans,” The Journal explained.
AOC took a victory lap after her argument that the subsidies were unnecessary was vindicated. “Won’t you look at that: Amazon is coming to NYC anyway---*without* requiring the public to finance shady deals, helipad handouts for Jeff Bezos, and corporate giveaways,” she tweeted.
Some right-wing trolls pointed out that 1,500 jobs is a lot less than 25,000. Mathematically correct. But as AOC responded, "The 25,000 jobs figure was a 10-20 year fantasy number from Amazon, not a promise or agreement. In exchange for that lack of commitment, they wanted billions of public money. Their year-one jobs projection was 700. Now they‘re bringing work without the [corporate] welfare." Fearless prediction: her reelection's in the bag.
JEERS to the potassium pincher. This is the worst disaster in the art world since I suction-cupped my way into the Louvre last week, stole the Mona Lisa, and replaced it with a perfect copy of Dogs Playing Poker. Some guy walked into the Art Basel exhibition in Miami and stole that $120,000 banana duct-taped to the wall by concealing it in his belly and absconding with it in broad daylight. Brazen!
The thief made a fast getaway. Witnesses say he jumped into his car and peeled out.
CHEERS to the #1 cause of hairy palms and sudden blindness. On this date in 1994 Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders—who, at 84, is still active at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences—got triangulated out of her job by President Bill Clinton. Her offense: having the gall to suggest that teaching kids about masturbation might help prevent the spread of AIDS.
"Education,education, education," she said. "The only way we are going to get around this disease is with education. We have no vaccine, we have no magic drug. All we've got is education." Clinton should've let her stay. He might've learned that playing with yourself prevents something else: impeachment.
JEERS to Big Brother Boris. I've always said that if there's one thing the Russian commoners need, it's more government surveillance. And, by god, they're finally getting it, now that Vladimir Putin has signed a new law requiring that all smartphones, computers, and smart TV sets sold there come pre-installed with government-approved Russian software. On the minus side: the "proper authorities" will know where you are, what you're doing, who you're communicating with, and what you're saying, buying, and watching. On the plus side: they'll send you a text if your borscht is burning.
JEERS to compassionate conservabuttheads. As income inequality unnecessarily continues squeezing more and more Americans (even those with full-time jobs) through the holes in the safety net, we're reminded that on December 9, 1983, Attorney General Ed Meese claimed that people go to soup kitchens "because food is free and that's easier than paying for it." Could Reagan pick 'em or could Reagan pick 'em?
-
Ten years ago in C&J: December 9, 2009
CHEERS to healthcare reform! Our fearless Senators spent Monday all hunkered down in their committees, while Republican gaggles continued to seize microphones and make odd little noises that sound like English words but don’t make any sense. Given that the ground is shifting unpredictably, here are the iron-clad developments based on hardcore facts from yesterday's back-and-forth, give-and-take, and backroom wheeling and dealing:
The pulp content in the complimentary orange juice was reduced to a level that was acceptable to all 60 members of the Democratic caucus. The Republicans objected.
Today they'll tackle thermostat control. Olympia Snowe may join the "warmers."
-
And just one more…
CHEERS to still kicking ass and taking names. He came back from a stroke and survived a helicopter crash in the 90s, but tough guy Kirk Douglas just keeps on keepin' on. Today is the screen legend's 103rd birthday, and C&J stands in awe of his longevity, his liberal leanings, and his amazing roster of classics that have kept us entertained for decades. It's worth re-reading the cautionary-tale column he wrote a few years back for HuffPo. I just wish more people in those goddamn "white working class states" had listened:
In my lifetime, American women won the right to vote, and one is finally the candidate of a major political party. An Irish-American Catholic became president. Perhaps, most incredibly, an African-American is our president today. […] Yet, I’ve also lived through the horrors of a Great Depression and two World Wars, the second of which was started by a man who promised that he would restore his country it to its former greatness. […]
Until now, I believed I had finally seen everything under the sun. But [Trump's] was the kind of fear-mongering I have never before witnessed from a major U.S. presidential candidate in my lifetime. I have lived a long, good life. I will not be here to see the consequences if this evil takes root in our country. But your children and mine will be. And their children. And their children’s children.
All of us still yearn to remain free. It is what we stand for as a country. I have always been deeply proud to be an American. In the time I have left, I pray that will never change. In our democracy, the decision to remain free is ours to make.
Now and forever…he is Spartacus.
Have a tolerable Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
-
Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
"If you love America, mamas, don't let your babies grow up to go to Cheers and Jeers."
—Louie Gohmert
-