Well why didn’t ya say so Dougie? If there is one thing I can get behind, it is banning the taxpayer funded practice of introducing grade schoolers to Striptease 101 on Career Day in schools.
(Introducing WTF cat.)
Is this a major problem in say, Bucks county? Have I missed the angry school board meetings filled with concerned parents over their children coming home covered in stripper glitter? What members of the Madson Mullet Men are running around panicking over this issue? Does even QGOP think this is a problem? Apparently they do.
Pennsylvania state Sen. Doug Mastriano, who is the Republican candidate for governor, said he would ban pole dancing in schools if he was elected.
"On day one, the sexualization of our kids, pole dancing, and all this other crap that's going on will be forbidden in our schools," Mastriano says while on stage at an event, as seen in a video.
He also said he would ban "graphic, pornographic books that are in elementary schools" as well as critical race theory.
Mastriano of course, also pledges to make “woke broke.” Woke is not a 501(c)(3), it is not an organization, industry, or business. It is societal paradigm that is borne out of the reaction to and rebellion against oppression. Of course, if the hinges still operate your screen door, you already know that.
But this guy is running statewide trying to convince his base that rogue liberal teachers would have your children turn into white-hating exotic dancers by the time they graduate junior high. What must Thanksgiving dinner be like with these people?
You know, you fly cross country to see your family, but there is always that one person who makes you regret the three hour TSA line.
Unhinged relative: I have been so busy. Since they hired that new social studies teacher from the big city, I have had to monitor Julie’s homework. I heard from Betty Lou, who knows Susie Mae, who plays bingo with Dot Simpson’s Aunt, that the kids had an assignment to build a stripper stage and film themselves ballet dancing to Depends Code’s “People are People” over and over.
Me: Depeche Mode.
Unhinged Relative: Can you believe that hon?
Me: “Uh, no. Martin Gore and Alan Wilder’s tempo on that song is far too fast for ballet. Now if you had said, “Enjoy the Silence..”
Unhinged relative: Well if we elect Doug Mastriano, our children will never have to build rotating stages with lit-up neon stripper poles in shop class and dance to Depraved Toad.
Me: DEPECHE MODE, and wouldn’t that be more engineering than shop?
Unhinged relative: What’s the difference?
Me: An electrical certification?
But all of this is what the Republican party has devolved into. If someone lives their lives in a manner that makes them squirm, they fall victim to their stunning ignorance and recoil and throw hate at innocent people.
While satirizing MAGA is easy, we must not lose sight of how dangerous their beliefs are.
Mastriano's newly proposed bill falls in line with much of his campaign platform, which has been aggressively populist and relied on Trump-brand bombasity to drum up near-cult level support. It's similar to a slew of bills introduced recently which address where the power of censorship should lie and what role which levels of govermnents should play in adjudicating related disagreements. In April, a bill seeking to restrict "sexual" content in schools, derided as draconian by Democrats, was introduced. In July, a coalition of 21 GOP lawmakers called for the resignation of the Pennsylvania Secretary of Education over sexual orientation resources and gender identity language on the state website.
In his mind, young people choosing for themselves how to self-identify, you know, themselves is a moral crisis. This is how we end up with this kind of idiotic rhetoric, but it is the decades long commitment to the dumbing down of America that has allowed this to gain a foothold.
Now if you would kindly excuse me, I need to see if at my middle age if I can still raise my leg over my head to “Just Can’t Get Enough.”
-ROC
If you had The Claw News this week you would have read about:
The fascist crisis in Italy
Trump watching too many Charles Bronson films..
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