A Farewell to Dailykos

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Thursday August 19, 2010 · 8:29 AM PDT

2010/08/19 · 08:29

All good things must come to an end. And yes, on the balance, my time here has been a good thing, even if I've often wanted to tear my hair out (well, what's left of it; damn male pattern baldness), even if I've gotten involved in my fair share-- perhaps more than my fair share-- of pie fights.

I started a new job a few months ago, and a few months from now that job will almost certainly include a professional blog. My screen name here was, well, frankly kind of stupidly obviously connected to my real name, though it was made at a time in my life when I never imagined I'd be representing anyone but myself professionally. But some opportunities are simply too good to turn down.

So I'm certainly retiring this screen name, and probably retiring from active participation in DailyKos. I've deleted most of my diaries (except for a handful that simply mean too much to me to get rid of). If you want to read my final ruminations, follow me over the jump.

dedmonds

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Wednesday December 02, 2009 · 9:54 PM PST

2009/12/02 · 21:54

I am, of course, gutted.

Every time marriage equality loses, I'm gutted. But today, as the vote was taking place in my state, in the place I'm called home for a decade now, I'm particularly affected.

But there are at least three reasons to be proud of the New York Senate today.

dedmonds

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Saturday November 28, 2009 · 10:10 AM PST

2009/11/28 · 10:10

[This is a letter I wrote to a friend of mine this morning (with a few personal details disguised). The friend in question has been a devout Christian all his life. I came out to him about 15 years ago, and for perhaps the first time since then, we actually talked about his struggles dealing with my being gay. He's worked very hard to reconcile his religion with my sexuality-- we were best friends for about 8 years leading up to my coming out.

I'm posting this in hopes that some of what I articulate to him will be helpful to people having similar conversations with friends, family, even strangers about this same issue, and for that matter to give straight Kossacks another glimpse into the challenges of being gay.

The references to ELCA in the diary are to the recent decision by the ELCA (the largest denomination of the Lutheran church in America, and the church my friend is a member of) to allow gay pastors who are in committed relationships to serve.]

dedmonds

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Tuesday April 07, 2009 · 8:31 AM PDT

2009/04/07 · 08:31

It's been a pretty damn good past few days for marriage equality.

In Iowa, we have a unanimous recognition by the state Supreme court, accompanied by an opinion that complete thrashes the "reasoning" used to opposed same-sex marriage.

In Vermont, we have a governor whose veto is over-ridden by the legislature.

We have won in the courts. We have won in the legislature. We are winning this battle. And I wanted to share a couple of things that have come out of Iowa in the past few days that show, to me, just how profound and moving and inevitable this victory is, that show me how clearly the tide has changed and is not, will not change back.

dedmonds

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Monday January 19, 2009 · 9:00 PM PST

2009/01/19 · 21:00

The closet.

We are once again faced with a gulf of understanding. A significant number of people here don't understand why many members of the LGBT community are upset at the exclusion of Gene Robinson from the broadcast of the pre-Inauguration concert on Sunday. I don't want to rehash those issues. I just want to explain why visibility is, and always has been, at the core of the gay rights movement, and how this exclusion, whether it was an accident, whatever the reason, is, to my mind, so upsetting.

The closet. I've often heard people talk about how easy gays have it, because we have a choice that most minorities don't; we can hide who we are. We can reject our identities. We can internalize the shame that many would have us feel and pretend to be someone we are not. This is spoken of as if it were some advantage, some strength, some wonderous thing.

But it's not.

dedmonds

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Wednesday December 31, 2008 · 9:25 AM PST

2008/12/31 · 09:25

"Don't worry honey. We owe a lot to our children."

My father can be a pretty memorable guy. I mean, don't tell him I ever said that. We have that gruff, father son facade to keep up, wherein we have to let our mutual respect come out only occasionally, as if by mistake. But the truth of the matter is that there's a lot about him to respect. He's a stunningly good teacher. Over the course of his career as a college professor, he's won dozens of teaching awards, some even on the national level. I've run into people in New York, Atlanta, San Francisco, and even Rome who have told me that his classes changed how they thought. As someone who is in education, that's the kind of impact you dream about having.

dedmonds

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Tuesday December 30, 2008 · 10:39 AM PST

2008/12/30 · 10:39

(First, a hat-tip to Zain for bringing up the study I discuss in this diary in the comments of Meteor Blade's astonishing diary on the rec list).

One of my favorite teachers in college once described sociology as the art of breaking down an unlocked door. Her point was that countless sociological studies tell us things that we, intuitively, already know. I don't think she meant to diminish the importance of sociology; rather she was gently poking fun at our cultural insistence that even those things that are most manifestly obvious must be proven.

And so it should come as no surprise that a new study shows that there is a connection between how families react to their children coming out and self-destructive behavior on the part of those children. Nonetheless, the publication of that study can serve as the point of departure for a discussion of some of the larger issues related to the LGBT experience in America, and some of the ramifications of that experience we've been discussing in recent weeks.

dedmonds

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Wednesday February 20, 2008 · 8:53 AM PST

2008/02/20 · 08:53

Sometimes, you come across something in the mainstream media that simply makes you fume.

As I imagine most people know, last week, a boy name Lawrence King was shot by one of his classmates in a California school. Within 24 hours, doctors determined that he was braindead.

In an appalling act of psuedo-journalism that seems to be driven by a focus-on-family like distortion of reality, Time Magazine has publish an article on the shooting that claims that gay activists exaggerate the problem of anti-gay discrimination in schools in America.

Follow me over the fold an share the outrage.

dedmonds

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Wednesday October 24, 2007 · 9:17 AM PDT

2007/10/24 · 09:17

I want to start by saying that this in NOT a Donnie McClurkin/ Barack Obama diary. Please respect my request not to turn it into one. Rather this is a diary wherein I try to explain to some members of the dkos community exactly why the ex-gay movement and reparative therapy is such a painful hot button issue for many in the gay community.

If you're looking for somewhere to continue to vent your spleen on Obama/McClurkin, look elsewhere. I hope that most of us can by now understand that principled people can fall on both sides of that disagreement, and that we've reached the point where continuing to hash it out is counter-productive.

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A Farewell to Dailykos

Three Reasons to be Proud of the New York Senate Today

On The Negative Effects of "Hating the Sin"

"You've Already Lost"

On Visibility and Gay Rights

"We Owe A Lot to Our Children"

Negative Family Reactions to LGBT Youth Linked to Suicide, Drug Use

Time on Homophobia in Schools: Gay Activists Exaggerate

On Reparative Therapy and Choosing to be Gay