DO YOU FEEL SAFER?
In just a minute, you're going to be asked to remove all liquids and gels from your carry-on bag. I'm sure you already knew this -- it's been all over the news recently -- but I hope you remembered to pack your expensive makeup in your checked bag, and that you aren't particularly thirsty. Oh, don't worry, you can get a drink on the other side of the checkpoint -- just make sure you finish it before you try to board the plane. Not that they'll check your carry-on again at the gate.
At least they're not bothering you about the gel in your sneakers and bras.
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