I'm so angry, I'm crying; I'm so sad, I want to scream.

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Sunday April 15, 2012 · 6:34 PM PDT

2012/04/15 · 18:34

I'm 28 years old, now. I'm sitting here in the engine room of a NOAA research ship, as a licensed maritime officer making more than 60k a year. My life has come together. Everything is good. Everything is great.
And then I read the recent diary about Bully, and a nightmare mixture of rage and fear and sadness comes washing over me.

I can't watch the video, because our satellite connection doesn't have the bandwidth for YouTube.
I can't watch the video, because.. Because I can't watch. The wounds are too fresh.

It's been 14? 15? years, since my parents pulled me out of high school, and the nightmare ended.
A decade and a half.
The wounds are too fresh. I can't watch the video.

The great philosopher Calvin once said: "Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ... and he's in prison... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat." It's been years. I'm successful and happy. But gloating? The wounds are too fresh. Besides, if the Republican Party is any indication, the worst of those bullies are probably now billionaire businessmen. After all, the worst were the Cool Kids, the ones who were social, and who knew how to climb the rungs by trampling the people beneath them.

I'm sorry. I'm bitter. I'm hurt. And it hurts that I still hurt - I should have grown beyond it by now. I'm still angry. Angry at my peers, whose names and faces I've long since forgotten. Angry at myself, for being too weak to fight, and for fighting and losing, and for fighting and winning. Angry at the world, for placing me in that position, with those people.

Kalil

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Monday December 05, 2011 · 9:06 PM PST

2011/12/05 · 21:06

Sorry if this has been diaried already, but I think it's important enough to post.

Europe has been desperately trying to pull together their financial situation, a problem that centers upon poor investor confidence. My understanding is (correct me if I'm wrong) that Italy and Spain would not been on the edge of collapse if investors had confidence enough to buy their bonds - the lack of investor confidence in their bonds is in and of itself leading to the collapse of said bonds. While that sounds suspiciously like a pyramid scheme to me, that's a subject for another diary. Into this precarious situation steps the S&P, last seen downgrading US debt for no decipherable reason:

Standard & Poor's blamed "deepening political, financial and monetary problems within the eurozone" on Monday night as it warned 15 of the 17 countries in the single currency that they faced a possible downgrade of their credit ratings.

Kalil

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Wednesday June 24, 2009 · 6:40 PM PDT

2009/06/24 · 18:40

I posted a brief comment about Psalm 127 on SusanG's diary about Jenny Sanford's public statement, but I felt it deserved further attention. Psalm 127 is a prime example of a dog-whistle - a coded message only immediately recognizable to its target audience, much like an HRC sticker is for gays or Bush's mention of the Dredd Scott case was to abortion activists.

The intended target of this dog-whistle? The Quiverfull movement, a particularly creepy subset of conservative evangelical Christians that interprets Psalm 127 to indicate that a good christian should have as many children as is physically possible.

Kalil

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Thursday May 24, 2007 · 6:09 PM PDT

2007/05/24 · 18:09

The great young american orator aparently lost his tongue.
Where was Barak Obama today? Where was he yesterday? Where was he Tuesday?
He was out-progressived by Senator Dodd, of all people!
Who here can still support him?

Kalil

Community (This content is not subject to review by Daily Kos staff prior to publication.)

Saturday October 28, 2006 · 5:14 PM PDT

2006/10/28 · 17:14

Yesterday it was gloomy. Low 50s, and drizzling. I was doing nothing - blogging, gaming, a little procrastinating - when the phone rang. It was a volunteer over at the Brad Miller campaign HQ, asking if I could help with a literature drop today.

I said yes, I'd be delighted to. And a few moments after I hung up, it hit me what I'd just committed to: wandering around a strange neighborhood in the drizzle and cold.

I needn't have worried. (continued below the fold) Read More

"Brad Miller's San Fransisco Soulmate"

Kalil

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Wednesday May 10, 2006 · 5:09 PM PDT

2006/05/10 · 17:09

In the mail today was a large envelope labeled 'Photo Inside - Do Not Bend'. I opened it, and found a large quantity of typically vile propoganda from Vernon Robinson's congressional campaign. I was just about to trash it, when I noticed a real gem: "Brad Miller's San Fransisco Soulmate", next to a picture of Markos, and above a long diatribe about how horrible it is that Rep. Miller blogs here.
A scan and some comments below the cut. Read More

Man-Animal Hybrids: A Glimpse Into the Presidents Reasoning

Kalil

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Wednesday February 08, 2006 · 2:20 PM PST

2006/02/08 · 14:20

I imagine that many of you were mystified by Bush's comments in the state of the union about man-animal hybrids. I certianly was. Luckily, my mother clued me in.
Darksyde posted a link to an article about human-mouse hybrids used for Downs Syndrome research. Obviously, that was snark, but Darksyde couldn't have been farther from the truth. His problem - a difficulty shared by many here on dKOS, myself included - is that he is firmly mired in reality. He should have looked instead to fiction.
Specifically, Surface, in which the villians are aparently creating and cloning vicious and disturbing man-animal hybrids.
It's a fun show, and a bit scary at times. But it can't compare to the horror that comes of knowing that the President of the mightiest nuclear power in the world believes it is true.

Ted Stevens ridding himself of tainted money

Kalil

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Friday January 06, 2006 · 4:33 PM PST

2006/01/06 · 16:33

Senator Ted Stevens is giving around $18,000 to the Red Cross and other charities, to offset campaign contributions by Jack Abramoff and his clients, according to the Associated Press:

[Stevens campaign treasurer Tim] McKeever says the Stevens campaign gave up the thousand-dollar Abramoff contribution last month by donating it to the Alaska chapter of the Red Cross. He says the campaign and Stevens' leadership PAC also will donate to charities to offset the contributions from Abramoff clients. McKeever says those added up to about 17-thousand dollars.

Two things to think about: first, Stevens is encouraging the return/donation of Abramoff money, which Bush and others still refuse to do. He can be used as yet another example to counter the 'the money is already spent' excuse and other such dodges. And second, is this an indication that he's serious about his repeated threats to quit the senate?

Dole Fails NC - No Federal Funding for Commuter Rail

Kalil

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Thursday December 15, 2005 · 1:10 PM PST

2005/12/15 · 13:10

The Research Triangle area of North Carolina has a problem. Like most modern metropoli, traffic is out of hand. A commuter rail-way was proposed, and has become one of the primary plans to help alleviate this problem. It would be handled by the Triangle Transit Authority which has already done wonders for bus services in the area.
The plan entails constructing a railway that would go from downtown Raleigh, through NC State University, through the massive suburb Cary, past RDU airport, past IBM's headquaters in RTP, and ending in downtown Durham. The original plan called for completion by 2008.
The original plan called for 60% of the funding to come from the Federal Government, which has funded such projects in the past. Such was not to be. Read More

FRAMESHOP: We're paying for the deficit NOW!

Kalil

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Thursday October 06, 2005 · 7:28 AM PDT

2005/10/06 · 07:28

Jerome a Paris quoted an article on the national debt today that contained this quote:

Our national debt stands at nearly $8 trillion. Our federal deficit, which had been scheduled to decline this year, will be about the same as last year (over $450 billion) after the disastrous costs of the hurricanes are added in. President Bush continually declines to say how we'll pay for the costs. But one rule has become much more clear: when Democrats are in control, we pay for the costs of government and our ballooning debt. When Republicans are in control, our kids and grandchildren pay.

This a recurring lie I hear from republicans and democrats alike. "Our grandkids will pay for the deficit." What a wonderful dodge.

But it's false. Read More

Pier 57: Forgotten?

Kalil

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Wednesday July 06, 2005 · 3:05 PM PDT

2005/07/06 · 15:05

The Republicans committed many atrocities against democracy in the last election. The Swift Boat Smear Campaign, the electronic voting debacle, the 'America Votes' voter registration shredding... But the one that stood out to me as the most blatant violation of the constitution was the wanton imprisonment of protestors - and just about anyone else in the way - at the Republican National Convention. Even Dave Barry was accosted by a police officer, and only his press badge saved him from being shipped off to Pier 57, the makeshift prison in an old parking garage on the Hudson.
Detainees were held without being charged, in unpleasant and possibly even dangerous conditions.

And yet, it seems to be largely forgotten. (continued below) Read More

A bad taste...

Kalil

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Wednesday July 06, 2005 · 10:37 AM PDT

2005/07/06 · 10:37

The National Geographic did a series on poisons in their May 2005 issue. One paragraph in particular struck me as having rather remarkable ramifications.
From an article on food testers, page 31:

These days, employment opportunities for tasters are in decline. In England, Buckingham Palace reports there is no formal procedure for food tasting. "The in-house help are fully vetted," a palace spokesman says. The Japanese emperor hasn't used a food taster in years, though President George W. Bush has used Navy mess specialists to handle the job. In the state kitchens of Thailand, humans are factored out altogether. There, in an inspired example of equal opportunity employment, the taste-test heroes of the banquet table, directed be the Ministry of Health, are a legion of white mice.

.....
So, in short, our President believes that the lives of our troops are worth as much as mice.
How egalitarian.

(I haven't been able to find independent verification of this, but I think that the National Geographic is a fairly reliable source...)

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I'm so angry, I'm crying; I'm so sad, I want to scream.

S&P Sabotaging Europe?

Jenny Sanford, Psalm 127, and the Quiverfull Movement

He is not one of us!

It was a beautiful day today

"Brad Miller's San Fransisco Soulmate"

Man-Animal Hybrids: A Glimpse Into the Presidents Reasoning

Ted Stevens ridding himself of tainted money

Dole Fails NC - No Federal Funding for Commuter Rail

FRAMESHOP: We're paying for the deficit NOW!

Pier 57: Forgotten?

A bad taste...