For the past few days, I have been VERY VERY out of sorts. I have been literally sick to my stomach. I have not been sleeping. I keep telling myself, “Come on, Adigal, this is not as bad as you are making it out to be,” and “This, too, shall pass.” But it’s not working. I can’t put some of the things that are bothering me most out of my mind. And I can’t get rid of the fear.
I have a good gut. I said many times that I felt our candidate could lose and got beat up about it. I am NOT refighting this, just saying that my gut is generally pretty good. And I can’t shake the feeling that this man is going to do something truly bad. And I can’t shake the feeling that when one corrupt party holds all of the power, our government has no lever in which to right grave wrongs. That scares the hell out of me. As does China. North Korea. Russia moving into Poland and blackmailing Trump to stay silent. Givin Putin consent. Those are my fears. Just a few.
These are the other reasons I am beside myself:
1. We have a man who admitted sexual assault, on camera, now President
2. We have a man who mocked a disabled person, on camera, now President
3. We have the foreign press reporting that many of the allegations on the 35 page dossier were being investigated by their intel agencies, and that they heard from them that there is meat there.
4. We have a President who has picked every possible fight with our Intelligence Agencies. Why? Why call Brennan a leaker? Why call them incompetent? It makes no sense unless he knows something is coming out and is trying to discredit them.
5. We now have a President whose advisors are being investigated for collusion with Russia to fix the election; not only that, the intel agencies leaked to the NY Times that they are looking over “intercepted” documents, although they wouldn’t confirm if they were from the campaign. They also named names of those under investigation and said that they leaked prior to today in case Trump shuts down parts of their investigation.
6. We have a President who went into a rage at a reporter last week, whose press secretary said that he would have that reporter “removed” from the press room. Really? By whom? And his cult members cheer! He also said he wouldn’t “kill” the press, but he “hated them.”
7. We have a citizenry who put this man into the White House. I know he lost the popular vote, but he is President. And if you see them on Facebook or Twitter, previously “nice” people are saying the most hateful things I can imagine. I can’t believe these people, including my family, hated me and all I stood for so much. I have lost my husband’s family over this, and perhaps my mother. I can’t even imagine talking to her right now. She voted away my daughter’s health insurance for hatred of Hillary.
8. We have a President who many mental health professionals say has narcissitic personality disorder. Instead of setting up his government, which has thousands of unfilled positions open, he was tweeting about Arnold S, Meryl, SNL and union presidents. This can put our safety at risk.
9. We have a President so deluded, or suffering from Alzheimers or dementia, that he goes off the rails at night, claiming that his son-in-law, a real estate guy, will solve the Israelis/Palestinian issue (does nuking the Palestines count?) Who claims that his Cabinet will have the highest IQ. Who calls his campaign manager “baby” and thinks it’s ok. Who has nominated people to his cabinet who all seem to despise the agency they are supposed to oversee. I don’t think this was Trump. He is not knowledgeable enough to do this. This was Pence or Bannon. Both horrible, vile humans in their own right.
10. And lastly, why is no one looking into what Trump meant last night when he said, “Next time we’ll win the old-fashioned way?” WTF does that mean? Without Russia? The popular vote? He started stuttering and sputtering right after he said it, so I want him asked: “What did that mean?” No one is even talking about this. Why not???
Am I just being dramatic? Overly sensitive? Fearful? I don’t know...when Bill Moyer is fearful, is it time to run for the hills? Stock up on rice and beans? Buy a year’s supply of vitamins? Get a gun for protection in my very red area? I do try to be logical and rational, not fear based, but I am really struggling.
What do you think?