Hi all! Still here, still homeless, still job-searching (or, job-searching again, since February)…
I was going along pretty well, mostly getting into sites, even when there was only 1 site available to the county, instead of the 2 normal for the summer or 3 normal for fall, spring and winter. There was one site (St. John the Baptist, in Winfield, where I was lottoed out for the night 2 times, and then 2 times I got lottoed out on the first drawing, but made it in on the second drawing. It’s a mistake to have St. John be the only open site; Winfield police are very clear in that they want NO homeless wandering their fair village at night. There are no busses or trains out of the town after the lottery. The church does have a pavilion, and allows people to stay at the picnic tables there, and the police did promise to leave anyone staying in their vehicles at the church lot alone. Either of those, at least, give access to the porta-potty outside of the hall where those whose cards were pulled stay.
We still have a number of…. froot loops who insist on staying with PADS. A fair number of those are people who have been drinking for years, and who plan to continue until their livers give out, apparently. Some of those people are nice, some are not. Some are fucking scary. I watched a PADS coordinator throw herself in front of a very drunk man who was very angry about being lottoed out one night. Personally, I would have called the police and had him locked up.
One of the women {I will call her Elle} who has been in PADS nearly as long as I have, apparently has had training in social work. Her car broke down some time ago, and she has been getting rides from people in PADS ever since. She rode for quite awhile with a Sue who has since gotten a room by the month. And then she rode with Dina, which must have been very interesting, since both Elle and Dina have fairly significant hearing issues. Finally, she rode with a lady I’ll call Klutz, since she managed to fall and “Break” her arm (cast came off after 2 weeks, which seemed very fast to me!!) and threatened to sue PADS, which appeared to win her a guaranteed pad through the difficult days of summer.
One of the PADS constants tried to tell me that Klutz had to go to a psychologist after driving Elle around for a couple of weeks. I’m so god-damned sick and tired of the constant whispering, assumptions and lies. If someone doesn’t like a woman (like the lady who talks to herself all fucking night long, in a voice exactly like Selma Diamond, for those of you remember Night Court), she’s a man, and transgendered.
Elle has something wrong with her feet or legs, and even with a cane with 4 feet on it, she seems unstable. As I mentioned, she has significant hearing problems (though some Pad residents like to say these are selective, having spent long, long days with her, they are NOT selective, they are constant. Because of her instability, some of the slipperier showers are very scary. At least one PADS bully insists that Elle has not taken a shower all summer. Now, I will admit that she uses some perfume that is truly stale about her, the bully is lying, whether intentionally, or simply due to a lack of knowledge.
Elle and the Bully both have names starting with L, and sometimes (especially early in the morning or late at night), I will call one by the other’s name. On Saturday, we were at the Salvation Army site, and all three of us were at tables for breakfast. Elle got up — I think to use the bathroom and clean up. And I used the other’s name…. LOUDLY, because of Elle’s issues. She turned. The actually L-name owner was PISSED, and is pretending to be convinced that Elle is trying to steal her identity. She said to me that night, “And Elle’s not going to get away with her games...” I said, “Elle didn’t do ANYTHING. Like I told you this morning, *I* screwed up and made a mistake. If you are angry about that mistake, it is *me* you should be angry at, not Elle.”
I don’t think she believed me. Or she pretended not to. Or WHATEVER!!!!! It’s making me fucking crazy!
The thing is, Elle’s got issues. I mean, we all do. But spending days with her, I can say: SHE HAS ISSUES. This is a woman who had a high paying job at an insurance agency, through her church — I guess Lutherans run insurance companies. Whatever. She started having issues with stuff her boss was asking her to do, and ended up walking away from the job when she thought they were about to fire her. So, no unemployment.
She applies for lots of jobs, especially government jobs. It’s really lucky she doesn’t get called for interviews, because most of those jobs are in the far north suburbs, 20 or 30 miles from here. She also completes surveys. She makes some money from online surveys, and takes a variety of surveys at different locations in this area. For example, I brought her to “Quick Test” at a mall in Lombard on Saturday. I took 1 survey about soft drinks that she’d taken before, and took 5 surveys about movie trailers. I made $15, was there between 9:30 and 1:30.
It’s nice to have the cash, but geesh. In addition, I’ve driven Elle everywhere I’ve gone — Forest Preserve, Libraries, Mall (for Quick test and for Labor Day), nightly shelter sites. I have given up my glorious silence to listen to her prattle on about how badly PADS is run (it makes me CRAZY when people who are leeching off of PADS have only negative comments about the organization. She is very angry because someone with a social worker degree was hired to be the boss of Will, who is in charge of interim housing (nightly shelters). She keeps saying, “that guy ought to fill out such and such paperwork for so and so” or “he never returned a call about another thing...”
She somehow thinks that because he’s got a degree in social work, he’s supposed to do the tasks that she finds important, instead of the tasks related to his actual job. I’ve pointed that out over and over, and she’s just not getting it.
When she’s not complaining about PADS, she’s updating on current and previous PADS clients — and I’m sorry. (No, I’m not.) I’d don’t care. I don’t care about the couple that moved to Texas and didn’t think to look and see whether BP and Shell had gas stations along the way. I don’t care that one of her previous drivers probably decided to NOT go to the doctor’s appointment that Elle set up. I really want to listen to the birds (in the Forest Preserve) or the whoosh of the Air Conditioner (at the sites), not to gossip about stuff that then makes me wonder, “What are they whispering about me??”
For the past week that she’s been riding with me, Elle has been ill — Probably Paditis (which seems to actually be bronchitis). She has been coughing, blowing her nose, occasional sneezing, and snorting. Please note that doesn’t say snoring. Now, she does that too, but only at night, while lying down, not when she falls asleep sitting up in the van. Lots of people snore (I do...) and it is what it is. But snorting? Maybe the hearing issue makes her think that’s an internal noise, or something, but it makes me want to barf. And when I hear it over and over, it makes me CRAZY. I’ve always had a bit of misophonia, and it’s really getting to me. I want QUIET! Now, if she were paying me taxi or uber rates, I might feel differently about that. Even if she paid me half of those, since we are sharing the ride.
Here’s what she’s paid me, 8 days into the ride-share: 1 McDonald’s cranberry-orange muffin. (I would have enjoyed a blueberry muffin.)
I want to help her. I really do. I want the bullies to drop their bullshit. But I also want to retain what little sanity I have left.
Anyway… that’s where things are right now. Waiting to hear from HUD about Section 8 (not expected until 2021, I think?) and trying to decide whether I’m going to go for a temporary staffing job, or a part time… and wondering what my responsibilities to Elle will be, once I find something. Oh, CRAP. I think I’m going to go look at pictures of doggies. Stay well, everyone. Don’t become homeless.