1. I am the Lord thy God. Even though the Constitution says so, no other beliefs except those in me shall be respected.
2. Thou shalt have no other Gods–except the acquisition of great wealth–before me.
3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain–except during campaign season.
4. Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy, so be sure to watch the Sunday morning Fox programs.
5. Thou shalt not kill, unless it is in a war where obscene profits are possible.
6. Thou shalt not commit adultry. This does not apply to Republican Senators.
7. Thou shalt not steal small amounts of money. If you are going to steal, make sure you steal millions and preferably billions. You are our job creators.
8. Thou shalt not bear false witness. Unless all the polling tells you it will work.
9. and 10. Thou shalt not covet. Remember, we never covet but you should refer back to #7.