In shocking news to Republican Party faithful, the Republican party has decided that after a century-plus of the Elephant as the symbol of their party, they found it not to represent the zeal and patriotism required to represent a party of their stature, so they secretly convened after their loss in November to reform the party's image. The party spent a long time debating between a plethora of different new mascots...
From Sam the Eagle
to McGruff the Crime Dog
to even the Monopoly Man
Hell even Pump-Action Jesus was a strong possibility...
But then they came upon genius...and could not leave it in the dustbin of history...may I present the new Republican Mascot...
Drumroll please....
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Teabags McGee!
He combines all the strengths of the Republican Party! He's all-white except for a hint of brown at the top. His eyes are red with fury and with the color of the Republican Party. His head is empty except for the cleared brush leftover by George Bush. Most importantly, underneath his costume he's a secret closeted homosexual into gangbangs and young teens. If his smile won't win your heart, his gigantic pin that show's even mascots can't stop clinging to the past will win you over. Teabags Mcgee...keep it Classy Republicans.