A diary on today's rec list was titled Maybe we've been coming at this wrong.
Please, don't get me wrong, I love, agree with and appreciate the diarist. But there's a major flaw in the headline and the premise I feel needs to be corrected for the record:
Maybe my conscience was right all along. Maybe it’s not right to put people’s freedoms up to a vote.
The premise is flawed, and as it was rec-listed, I think it should be pointed out:
"We" are not "coming at this."
"This" is "coming at" us.
I'm not trying to be clever, but I think it's a really important distinction to make as we discuss this issue. In the wake Prop 8 and Question 2, there's always a lot of Monday morning quarterbacks that come around happy to tell us on the front lines what we've done right and wrong. Many of the advice offered comes from people who may be well meaning (though, sometimes they're not).
But many are coming to the game a little late, and not totally up on the plays and how we got to the point in the game that we are. They'll point out, how with a 31-0 record we're clearly fighting a losing battle. From the diary:
But what I'm thinking is that if it can't happen on a ballot in Maine or in California, how can it happen anywhere? California, so liberal. Maine, so non-churchgoing. Both were heartbreakers. And even if it can happen, should it?
Let's be clear about one thing: The gay community is not putting marriage equality on the ballots. Nor are we putting marriage equality bans on the ballot. These ballot initiatives are all driven by the RIGHT.
This isn't a strategy we chose. We wouldn't. We aren't stupid. Our losses at the ballot are not because we're picking the wrong fight, and not because we're picking the wrong venue. We aren't picking anything. The weight of these losses do not bear down on US because we're going about anything the "wrong" way.
We don't start these fights. "We"--the gay community--didn't put Prop 8 and Question 1 on any ballot. We poured the necessary money and manpower into campaigns to defend ourselves.
We as a community are under constant offensive attack. We aren't wasting our time and manpower by choice, we are rising to the battle that must be fought.
We don't want to play a defensive game, only a fool would, but that's the hand we're being dealt. While we work the legislature and the courts--where we can win--the right is doing everything it can to move the battle to the ballot.
But we don't really have the luxury of choice about strategy and venue. We can only defend ourselves as we've risen up to do in CA & ME, and the other 29 states.
The only other option is to not defend ourselves. Left unchallenged, I'm sure Prop 8 & Question 1 would have gone down 80%-20%. Hell, National Organization for Mormons Marriage makes us sound so scary (all lies), I'd vote against us!
Now, imagine we lost Question 2, 80/20, the talking point would have been for decades how much America enjoys voting against the gays. Imagine how much bolder our opponents would be, had we not demonstrated that just almost half, very, very nearly half of California and Maine have got our backs?
I tell you what would have happened had we not risen to the fight: before you know it, Mike Huckabee's interment camp idea of 1992 (1992!) would be back on the table, enjoying new political life as an attractive rallying cry for collecting votes. So, not defending ourselves? Worse than losing.