Motherf—oh, sorry. I didn't see you come in. Just working on the pun machine I use for my titles, looks like that last one knocked out the Thesaurusator. Just looking online to see how other people fixed theirs, but my model is so ancient, might as well buy a new one. Had to cut the gnus loose that harness the power to the treadmill, and they've run off. The verballast might not be providing the spark for the lava lamp, and everyone knows how groovy you have to feel to think up a good pun. Or a bad one.
Oh well, no gnus is good news. Two less mouths to feed.
I don't really remember. The truth is, we couldn't hear very well. We were sort of out there on the periphery. We just sat on our cars, watching the girls, talking, doing what boys do. We paid more attention to the girls than to King.
—Gov. Haley Barbour (R, MS) on what Martin Luther King said at a speech Barbour attended.
I have a wet dream?
It is impossible to do all of the things that the majority leader laid out, frankly, without disrespecting the institution and without disrespecting one of the two holiest of holidays for Christians and the families of all of the Senate, not just the senators themselves but all of the staff.
—Sen. Jon Kyl (R, AZ) over having to work the week after Christmas.
I know six million people that aren't sympathetic.
They work for government, which, thanks to President Obama, has become the only booming "industry" left in our economy. Since January 2008 the private sector has lost nearly 8 million jobs, while local, state and federal governments have added 590,000.
—Gov. Tim Pawlenty (R, MN)
At least somebody is hiring.
Screwed again.
—Rep. David Wu (D, OR) on his amendment to extend unemployment benefits to two years getting shot down.
There is no Christmas shopping this year, except for the four grandbabies. It's hard to tell them there's no Santa Claus.
—Marie Weiss, who was laid off last Thursday after working for her company for 16 years.
For them, the baby Jesus wants us to "provide," no matter what the circumstance. But being a Christian, I know that while Jesus promoted charity at the highest level, he was not self-destructive.
—Bill O'Reilly, speaking for the baby Jesus.
Wait a minute. Nobody puts baby Jesus in the corner.
He’s a very fine man but that is not the question. The question is, you want to give him a tax cut and borrow it from my kids, no deal. No deal.
—Rep. Anthony Weiner (R, NY) to Sean Hannity on Fox News on giving a tax break to Robert Murdoch.
We are the real rainbow coalition. The gay lobby does not own the rainbow.
—Becky Yeh of right-wing American Family News Network's One News Now.
Don't tell me: that fairy in stockings at the end of the rainbow is just your roommate.
I hope they'll realize that if they're going to hold something hostage politically, this is the wrong thing to hold hostage.
—Former Gov. Mike Huckabee (R, AR) on the 9/11 Responders Bill.
It just goes to show the disconnect between those we elect to represent us, and those that get out there and do the work. Because I'm here to say that you won't find a single New York City firefighter who considers it a sign of disrespect to work in a New York City firehouse on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.
—New York firefighter Kenny Speck, on the Daily Show.
Who's going to hold these people's feet to the fire? We're able to put a 52-story building so far down there at Ground Zero, we're able to pay for tax cuts for billionaires who don't need them and it's not going to stimulate the economy. But we can't give health care to Ground Zero first responders who ran right into the fire?
Fox News' Shep Smith.
I think they provided a very valuable service. To call them terrorists is not only mistaken, it's absurd.
—The Pentagon Papers Daniel Ellsberg, on Wikileaks.
I expect if Democrats don't bow down to the GOP because they won the House after the midterms, even after the huge tax bill compromise, the media will attack Dems for not being bipartisan. Or when Republicans destroy legislation it's because they are principled, but Democrats are just Dirty F*&king Hippies.
—Jon Amato on Crooks and Liars.
To tell people who’ve been through high school, high school presidents going on to college some of the best brains who have no relation to their home country. This is crazy. It’s hurting America.
—Newark mayor Cory Booker on the failure of the DREAM Act.
As it turns out, the vandalized office belonged to Sen. Kay Hagan (D., N.C.), who outraged liberals by voting against the DREAM Act, which would install a path to citizenship for children of illegal immigrants.
—Andrew Stiles on National Review's The Corner, speculating that the swastika spray painted outside Hagan's office must have been done by a liberal.
Project much?
Where are the s'mores ingredients? This is in honor of Michelle Obama, who said the other day we should not have dessert.
—Sarah Palin, from Sarah Palin's Alaska, on the First Lady's war on children obesity.
See how much support you get from conservative males when you bloom up to be the Republican equivalent of Rosie O'Donnell.
Vote yes because on the battlefield it doesn't matter who you love, only the flag that you serve.
—Rep. John Lewis (D, GA) on the DADT repeal.
The bottom line is this: Whether you liked DADT or not, the rhetoric surrounding this issue has been out of control.
—Stephanie Gutmann on The Corner, speaking of left wing rhetoric only.
Right, it's not like anyone said that a repeal of DADT would cost soldiers lives or some other unspecified cost.
It could disrupt the unit cohesion. As the commandant said, cost lives. That means a lot to me.
—Sen Jon Kyl on DADT.
They will do what is asked of them. But don't think there won't be a great cost.
—Sen. John McCain (R, AZ).
Never mind.
Quote the Ravin', a weekly roundup of quotes from around the internets, comes out every Tuesday around lunchtime.