You often know when something just doesn't look or smell right. Our minds allow us to adapt to a wide range of environments and circumstances. We learn, from our companions and our experience, what works or does not — what is safe or dangerous — what is good or bad.
Let’s take an example. You’ve been around for a while and you’ve come to recognize the sound of your neighbors having another domestic dispute. Mrs. Smith has come to recognize the smell of Mr. Smith’s mistress’ perfume and, once again, all hell breaks loose. You have also come to recognize the tones that are within the range of their usual confrontations and know when you need to report their disturbance to the police for intervention.
In the next house, Mrs. Jones recognizes the smell of Mr. Jones’ night our with another woman. But they have an “open marriage.” In fact, Mrs. Jones knows and likes this woman and is kind of turned on by her thoughts. Mr. and Mrs. Jones end up having a passionate night together.
Our individual judgments as outside observers aside, the difference between the reactions of Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Jones are entirely governed by their past experience and what they have come to accept as normal or, at least, not bad.
Let’s take another example. If someone tried to put a serving of rotten vegetables on your plate, would you eat it? Of course not. What if they called it “spicy,” “pickled” or “fermented?” You might not like how it smells but, if they were enjoying it, would you be willing to try a bite?
Now, imagine that your friend just explained that this was called “kimchi,” was a popular traditional Korean side dish and one of the top five healthiest foods in the world. In fact, the reason they had invited you to this, their favorite restaurant, was the really great kimchi here. Now, could you drop your prejudices and, maybe, learn to love it?
The point is that many of the things that we hold as opinions, beliefs, and fundamental faiths may be very different from things that work very nicely for other people. I once observed that, on historic time scales, religious beliefs, cultures, cuisine, language, and styles of dress all flow, mix, and change as formerly-isolated groups meet each other.
This is an excerpt from “Family and Community Values in American Culture: Forming a More Perfect Union” to be published in 2014 by David Satterlee. Excerpts from other books of essays and short stories by this author are available at http://DavidSatterlee.com