Hi Folks,
Joe Biden here. I don’t usually post at DK but a friend let me borrow his login to tell you my story. I recently built a time machine in my spare time (I don’t golf that much). I used it a day ago to go forward in time two weeks. I brought along a realistic-looking gun that shoots foam bullets (Amazon $8.95) and moseyed on over to the Supreme Court. They were all meeting at that time and I could talk to all 9.
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Hey Folks Hi !
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Joe, what are you doing here? (Roberts)
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Well, Chief Justice Roberts, I just wanted to let you guys know about a new government program I am considering
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OK but what does that have to do with us? (Thomas)
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I am hoping that you will get a move on and give presidential immunity for acts committed for the good of the country
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Mr President, why is that? (Brown)
I took out my fake automatic and responded,
There were gasps from the justices and serious consternation on their faces.
-Yeah you guys I’m just waiting for the OK from you.
-You can’t kill Supreme Court justices!!! (Alito)
I chuckled a bit and replied,
-Well, not yet but I’m waiting on you guys. Another gasp
-That would be murder!! (Coney-Bryant)
-It’s OK if the president does it sweetie.
-This is a mockery of a travesty of a sham!! (Kavanaugh)
- You’re right, that’s exactly what this body is.
I pointed the gun at the ceiling and fired a couple of foam bullets.
-This is the gun that will tame DC.
-This is ridiculous! (Thomas)
- Yeah Clarence. You’re first.
Firing a couple foam bullets at the court’s eldest member.
- It’s fucking ridiculous that anyone would take longer than 30 seconds to decide this. The president can murder anyone as long as it’s in the interest of the country?! This court has 9 gov officials that can’t be unelected, five of which were appointed by presidents that weren’t legally elected themselves. Those guys lost the popular vote by a combined 4 million votes. You know who I mean the guy that the Supreme Court said don’t count all the votes and the guy whose campaign contacted the Russkies 180 times.
-But, gasp, but gag…(Gorsuch)
-Yeah, Neil, that’s what I’ve been saying too. And while I’m at it. I’m going to off that SOB whose dogs crap on my lawn back in Delaware and the mechanic that charged me $6000 for a new car transmission that still doesn’t work right. Nah……, I’ll farm that out to Seal Team 6. It’s a legal order if the president gives it, right?
I fired off a few more at the esteemed justices and pushed the button to send me back as the guards were closing in.
BTW when MTG says God sent us the eclipse and earthquake, don’t believe her, It was me.
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(This was not actually written by Joe Biden)