As I taught my math courses today at my college, I sensed a feeling of despair in my class that reminded me of when I was teaching on the afternoon of September 11. As I walked through the campus, I see looks of disbelief and comments like "I can't believe we have 4 more years..." It is a tough life for many of these community college students, who are struggling financially but yet seek a hope of improving their lives during a time of budget cuts and tuition increases.
I, too, am feeling the same sense of shock after seeing the positive exit polls and then watch the devastating returns come in from Florida and Ohio. As it became clear we were losing all the close races, I went to bed feeling hopeless and wondering what kind of country I lived in, how could such an incompetent person win, how had the polls been so wrong?
Then I remembered the power of fear.
Fear built the Pyramids, after all
The GOP ran a successful campaign of fear.
Scared white people won this election for the Party of Fear.
Exit polls show the gender gap has decreased - scared moms with kids. "Vote for us or the terrorists will kill your children."
Returns show that rural conservative areas had better "get out the vote" than urban areas: Fear brought them to the polls. "Vote for us or homosexuality will run rampant."
I also have a good idea why the exit polls were so wrong. Scared people don't talk to strangers; they avert their eyes, turn around and walk away. Or maybe they were ashamed to admit they were afraid
Fear won today in the constant battle between fear and love.
Last night I wondered if it was time to be like Einstein and move somewhere else - that I don't want to live in an environment of fear, I don't want to always be at war, I don't want my kids to grow up in hopelessness. Today I choose to stay and be myself
I understand despair. To me a noble truth of life is the constant cycle of hope, joy, despair, acceptance and then more hope. I don't ever want to be one of those scared people who can't look life in the eye.
I have little control over the insanity of the world, but I do have choice. Today I choose to spread the message of hope and love and mirror that in the community I can influence: my family, my friends, my students and colleagues. Until they cremate my carcass in a furnace, I will never give into fear.