I'm tired. That's the conclusion I came to last nite. I feel like I'm burning out as far as participating on Daily Kos is concerned. I knew I wanted to write a diary about this, but I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to express. But, I am now.
This is not one of those, "Screw kos, I'm leaving!" diaries, so, if that's what you thought it was, you'll be disappointed. It's also not a "Help, help, I'm being repressed!*" diary. I'm just sad and disillusioned.
To top off how I've been feeling about being a dkos participant, kos posted this today:
The "it's my site" stuff relates to what I write. When people demand I write about a topic I don't feel compelled or qualified to write about. I don't tell people what to diary about, so I don't appreciate people telling me what to write about.
The community stuff is a seperate beast. It's not my community. But it's also not EVERYONE'S community, either. I have set unofficial guidelines -- it's a site for Democratic partisans. Everyone else is welcome, with the understanding that it's a home for Democrats. So Republicans, Greens, etc, are welcome. But it's not their home.
You don't go to Synagogue to argue Christianity. You don't go to Yoga class and demand to do aerobics. I know I don't make this point explicit, but I prefer a little bit of gray area. As long as it's not written in stone, we won't have well-meaning Greens being kicked off the site by fundamentalist Kosmopolitans.
So, there you have it. This is not my home.
I'm a Canadian liberal and didn't know until after I'd been active on dkos for a while that this was a site for Democratic partisans. I assumed it was just set up for American leftists. Okay. I adjusted. I support many Dem party policies and views. I felt uncomfortable here at times, but I dealt with it.
But, now, being told that this isn't my home, after feeling for months that it was, in fact, one of my many internet homes - well - I'm left speechless.
What makes a site a home? Simply being a partisan? I thought it was about feeling a part of a community.
I really don't know what more to say.
I'm tired. I'm weary. And, I'm crushed.
* Monty Python
Update [2005-1-8 18:17:31 by catnip]: Is this diary too self-indulgent? Should I delete it?
Update [2005-1-8 20:18:19 by catnip]: I know I haven't responded to a lot of your comments and I do appreciate all of them - even yours, Bob Johnson. To steal Armando's sig line: I'm thinkin' I'm thinkin'. I need to decide what to do about my disillusionment, which was not, btw, the result of that sole comment by kos. Thank you all. You've broadened my perspective.