If you're like me, you've been super-impressed with the overall level of freedom and democracy the USofA is bringing to the Middle East. It's like everyday, we wake up and find that the Iraqi people are freeer and freeer and freeer! I mean, we're used to thinking of the United States as a pretty fucking free country. And it is.
But dude, if you think YOU live in freedom, you gotta check out the hyperlink, and the flip, and then ask yourself.
Am I free to do this?
Now that's what I call freedom!
POLICE IMPOSTORS KIDNAP 50 IN BAGHDAD
BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- Gunmen posing as Iraqi police commandos raided three transportation companies and kidnapped 50 people Monday in Baghdad, an Iraqi Interior Ministry official said. The kidnappers were wearing police commando uniforms and driving at least 13 vehicles with Iraqi police markings, the official said.
OK first off, for starters, you should read that blockquote, and let it sink in. Now ask yourself this important question. What if we, as Americans, wanted to kidnap fifty people by pretending to be cops? In the so-called "Land Of the Free," you think you'd be able to get away with that?
Hell no you wouldn't be able to get away with it!
You might be able to jack a few packed busses if you have enough firepower, but here in "Freeland" the real cops would be all over your ass in no time! They'd probably just follow you down the Dan Ryan or the LA Expressway in helicopters, and then tear gas your entire abandoned warehouse hideout! Then you'd be forced into a lengthy standoff at BEST, or a shootout in the parking lot, during which you and your compadres would probably end up dead, or at least really fucked up. You call this freedom?
And even worse, there ain't no "Syria or Jordan" to flee to in the US, either. Canada and Mexico are not going to allow you entry through some secret road that only you and your cousins from the border towns know about. Forget it. I guess there's just NO WAY you're free to kidnap 50 people all at once by posing as cops, here in "World's Capitol of Freedom." And good luck stealing 13 vehicles with offical police markings by the way.
But, it seems, that that's the man for ya in the good ol' USofA these days, where we supposedly invented freedom. And if you're like me, then you know that until we can commit mass kidnapping, we're just not free enough.
On the other had . . .
In Iraq - there's all sorts of wicked hijinks you and your crew can away with! Remember, they have almost NO LAW AND ORDER. How the hell is "the man" gonna get you, when you stole his uniforms, and his vehicles, and no one knows the fucking difference between you and "the man" anyway? If you've got the uniforms, the cars, and the guns, you ARE the man. There's no one gonna stop you!
If you ask me, these creative minds in Iraq are the new young radicals in pushing freeism in whole new directions, teaching all of us Americans some important lessons in freedom of action, and freedom from consequences. And I, for one, am both humbled and inspired by the crazy shit these guys are able get away with over there.
Check these out, and again - ask yourself if you're free to do all this awesome stuff, here in the so-called "Land of the Free."
Gunmen killed 20 people Sunday in Diyala province after stopping two minibuses and a car, forcing people out of the vehicles and shooting them, Iraqi police said. The victims were Shiites, and the violence was thought to be the result of sectarian hostilities.
You think you'd be able to get away with shooting a TWENTY PEOPLE here in the USofA? I mean I guess it's possible, but it seems pretty likely to me that if you shoot twenty people all at once, you can cancel your trip to Cancun, and instead plan on going to the fucking slammer, and probably for a good long while too. (Or, if you don't, a young minority male probably will.) Not free enough.
A water planning manager was shot dead by gunmen about 5 miles (8 km) north of Baquba at 8:30 a.m. Monday, according to a Baquba police official.
A water planning manager? Don't those folks do pretty good on our tax dollars, which - by the way - we are NOT free to withold from our government? They probably live mostly in gated communities, or maybe some upscale condo. Do you know what kind of camera surveillance & security most gated communities & condos have? I'll give you a hint - there's enough surveillance to know what brand of shoes you're wearing. The security guard is usually a former CIA interrogator or Ultimate Fighting champion, and they are ALWAYS packin heat. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about.
Yeah right buddy . . . you try killing the water planning manager, and you can plan on going to jail, or maybe even getting executed, if you're black or hispanic, and the water planning manager is white. At any rate - see you in jail when our criminal justice system catches up with you, and that's if you even GET up to the water dude's place!
Is this what we call freedom?
My friends, I think not.
It's time that we Americans followed the lead of our freeistic Iraqi brethren. Rather than being so arrogant as to assume that only Americans enjoy true freeism, I think it's time we learned a few lessons from our Muslim friends, and realize all the cool potential that true freedom brings.
"I'm proud to be an American!
Where at least I know I'm . . . free?????"