It was predictable as clockwork. Even while the votes were being tallied, Tom Delay was on the air saying that the Democrats were going to have a
lame duck majority. Despite Bush's stumbling words of "bipartisanship," his first action was to try and shove John Bolton's nomination back through the pipe. And now insiders like James Carville are joining themselves at the hip with Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly to pick at the Democratic victory.
Republicans will be doing everything they can to make Democrats look as ineffective as Republicans themselves have been over the last twelve years. Unfortunately for the would-be congressional monkey wrench gang, they've spent the last decade putting in place rules and procedures that make the minority party all but irrelevant. They can shout all they want, but their voices are going to sound funny coming from that deep, deep well of impotence.
Nice as it is to see the Republicans hoist on their own hubris-powered petard, we have to do more than just enjoy the irony if we want to still be laughing at Delay in 2008, 2010, 2012.
Crystal Clear
The Limbaughs and O'Reillys of the world will still be out there next week and next year, slinging mud and bile by the bucketful in the hopes that some of it will stick. The beltway insiders will continue to squirm and look for some tiny glimmer of relevance against the victory that came in spite of all their dire warnings. Guys like Carville and the DLC were first to tell us that the DNC was being silly spending money in states like Kansas (where Nancy Boyda outraced Jim Ryun), Florida (where Ron Klein put down veteran Republican incumbent Clay Shaw), and Arizona (where Harry Mitchell deposed the rabid former Fox Sports anchor, J. D. Hayworth).
Both the Republicans and the "you can't win without us" crowd will be looking to dog the new congress at every turn. For Republicans, it's all about blackening the reputation of this congress to give themselves a better chance in 2008, and doing everything they can to prevent any work from getting done. They want to make this congress look bad. For the Carville crowd, it's about showing that a people-powered movement can't possibly survive without the advice of "experts," and is sure to blunder. They want to make this congress look incompetent.
Both of them will be looking for any loose thread they can tug, for any rough spot on the Democratic agenda where they can find purchase, or for any little crack they can exploit to break apart the party. The real goal is promoting the attitude that "all politicians are the same." All corrupt. All beholden to lobbyists and corporate plutocrats. If they succeed in promoting their message of "it's all grey," they win.
So here's my advice to the incoming class: don't give them the opportunity.
You think they were shocked on Tuesday? Give them a real shock. Be the kind of congress we've never seen before. Be the kind of congress that is so open, so honest, so clear, so forthright, so there for the American people, that no one can doubt your intentions.
When drafting the bills of the first hundred hours, follow these simple rules:
1) One item per bill. Nothing is more important than this. That minimum wage bill has to be a minimum wage bill, not minimum wage plus ten other things we thought were a good idea. I don't care if your own mother is dying and you think putting an extra wing on some hospital would help. One subject. Period. Give the Republicans no opportunity to claim they were voting against some rider or secondary item.
2) Simple language. There should be nothing in these bills that can't be deciphered by someone with a sixth grade reading level. Put on a shock collar that hits you with 200 volts every time you get tempted to create legislation that's nothing but a glue of legalisms holding together word by word amendments of old legislation. Start with a clean sheet. Fill it with fresh, clear words. Don't let anyone argue that the legislation is vague, or "tricky." As a guideline, just think that Bush should be able to understand what he's signing -- or what he's vetoing. And so should everyone else.
3) Do it in public. Forty-eight hours before the vote on any bill, put together a press release and send the full text of the bill to every news service. Let people open their paper on Wednesday and see exactly what you're going to vote about on Thursday. There should be no midnight surprises as text is thrown into a bill seconds before a vote, and with nice simple language, you won't be still making discoveries about bills you voted on months before.
4) Sign your name. The legislators who author these clear, direct pieces of legislation deserve to have their names associated with them prominently. So should every legislator who effectively argues for some change in the wording. There should never again be any text on a piece of legislation whose authorship is a mystery. And hey, give the newcomers a chance to get their pen engaged, don't hog all the good topics among a few top folks.
5) Be brief. In ninety percent of the cases, that means keeping your bills under one page. I'm not kidding. Most of the time, one paragraph is enough. If you really feel like you need to stretch something to two pages, you should start to feel a little guilty. If you go past that... time to dig up that shock collar again. Look at the incredible brevity of the Constitution and stick with that as your model. Don't try to anticipate every situation when you write a bill. You'll spend a hundred days thinking, a thousand pages writing, and you'll still miss some big ones once it's out there. Keep it short. Plug the holes later with more short, clear, crisp pieces of legislation.
6) Stay out of the weeds. I know you've got to be thinking that this strategy doesn't leave much room for you to be building that new highway through your home town, or dedicating that new library in some patron's honor. Good. It's not supposed to, because that kind of detail is not where you should be playing. Give some transportation money to the states, and then let them figure it out. Republicans talked a good game on giving more authority to the states, but they never actually trusted local governments enough to stay out of every detail. Be the party that actually gives the states your trust.
7) Defy expectations. The Republicans think that, despite the sweeping victory on Tuesday, Democrats are still going to be hampered by slim majorities and a Vetoer-in-chief. They think you're going to wrangle amongst yourselves. Instead, grab the ball, run, and never, ever look back. Don't just pass one major new bill a week, pass ten. Make it your mission to either move the country forward in the next eight hours, or force Bush to hold it back. Shock them with your audacity, then surpass yourselves.
If you do this, if your agenda is composed of short, simple, powerful statements composed in clear language and presented to the America people day by day, this congress won't just be successful, it will be a revelation. Never again will anyone accept the idea that all politicians are the same. Never again will anyone settle for a government that works in the shadows, and whose operation is based on a game of tit for tat where each exchange cost millions, if not billions. Never again will anyone accept a huge pile of pork just to get some slender benefit. No one's back will get scratched, but everyone will enjoy unmatched gratitude and respect.
This is how we roll: from victory, to victory. Out in the open, without secrets, without hidden agendas. Do this for the first hundred hours. Who knows? You might discover you like being truthful with yourselves and with the public. It might even become a habit.
Don't start thinking that your audience is the nit-picking Republicans, or the dismissive pundits, or even the cynical "old Democratic hands." Your audience is the American public, and they're the ones who will be judging your performance.
Knock 'em dead.
UPDATE: As RonK points out below, in fact James Carville supported some of the very candidates I mentioned at the top of this post. Clearly, I let my anger over Mr. Carville's statements concerning Howard Dean and the 50 state strategy propel me straight past the truth of the situation and into fantasyland. I'm still upset about the statements, but that's no excuse for stretching the truth past the breaking point. I won't change the above, because I don't want to be accused of trying to hide my mistakes, but on these points I completely apologize to Mr. Carville and to all readers.