I love Jerome’s diaries, and I love and value Jerome’s input and contributions to Dkos. But that diary on the rec list has struck a nerve with me, and it isn’t a pleasant feeling. I’ve been sitting for a day or two debating on whether or not to write this, but I must. You see... I don’t give a flying fuck if the world is "watching", and here’s why:
Jump with me...
- If "the world" can’t see that 50% + of this country worked our asses off (some of us literally, I lost 10 pounds canvassing for a losing candidate because I knew I owed it to my country, and to "the world"), to effect change in this country, then I can’t help them.
- If "the world" can’t see that we did the best we could, that we sweated blood and tears, to find and promote the best candidates to elect for our government, then I can’t help them with that either.
- If "the world" can’t see that we took those unknown candidates and helped them win in some of the hardest areas of a country for a Democrat to win in, then they’ll never see.
- If "the world" doesn’t understand that when a country is as divided as we are right now politically, it is like pulling off a miracle to accomplish what we did, then they’ll never see.
- I am tired of "the world" taking the line that our new Congress hasn’t done enough to satisfy them. You know what? They haven’t done anything to satisfy us, right here in this country yet! They don’t even get to start until January!
- I am tired of worrying what "the world" thinks about us some days. Half of us beat the shit out of ourselves and our country every single day out of guilt and despair for the direction our country has taken. I guess they don’t see that either.
- I am also just plain tired. I’m so very, very tired. I’m tired from working so hard for so little. But "the world" will never see that, and most of them won’t give a shit.
- I am tired because I have no health insurance, and doubt I will for a long time to come. Meanwhile I guess the rest of "the world" can just look down their noses at us as barbaric.
- I am tired from trying to raise three boys in this country when they are constantly under attack from mega-corporations telling them what they "need" to be happy and cool. Does "the world" see that too?
- I am tired of seeing the value of what little money I do earn lose its value. "The world" seems content to watch us get screwed.
- I am tired of not being able to afford to own a home for my family. "The world" watches on and writes articles asking who will take our place when we fall.
- I am tired of being so concerned with global matters when some days it feels like I can barely hold my own household together. This is something "the world" will never see either.
Do I understand that my country has veered seriously off-course? You bet your ass I do!! So do those of us who voted on November 7th. We did, and continue to do, what we could do about it. We’ve given money we didn't have to give, we’ve given time we could barely afford to spare, we’ve cried, begged, and pleaded while our hearts have been breaking. We’ve argued with eachother, and with our own families. We’re doing what we can with what we have to work with.
We've been fighting an uphill battle for the last eight years now, and continue to fight that battle despite how tired and worn out we are. I can't afford to expend what precious little energy I have left fretting about it. I'm spending that energy trying to get by while making things right the best way I know how, along with millions of others. If "the world" doesn’t see that, then I really don’t give a crap right now.
Flame away if you must, but at this point in time, this is honestly how I feel.