I'm writing this today as an anti-rant to this rant I wrote 9 months ago and so much more I've written in criticism and lament to all the discrimination, hate and homophobia I and other GLBT people have seen and lived through in our lives and today.
I write it because just now my daughter and I witnessed, in San Francisco.. <1 mile from Castro, a man scream "Fucking Faggots" out of his car while throwing a full beer bottle at a young gay couple who were walking hand-in-hand on the sidewalk next to our house (as I was taking our daughter to school), hitting one of them in the leg. I write it because for the first time in her short 4 1/2 years I had to explain that some people hate us because of who we are. That's not easy to explain to a four-year-old (especially without crying), but as an African-American, a female and the daughter of gay men she'll need to understand and deal with that hate.</p>
I write it because last week our housemate and part-time nanny was yelled at and called a "Faggot" (again from a moving car) while walking down the street a block away.. because he was putting on chapstick.
I write it because recently two men were gang raped (2-3 men) and beaten in separate incidents in the Castro by either straight or self-loathing gays yelling "faggot", prompting the neighorhood to set up patrols.
I write it because of things like this.
I write because I wanted to give those things above perspective.
I thank our straight allies, for without you.. well, without you we/I wouldn't be where we are today.
Much gratitude for PFLAG: Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. I've seen first hand how their unwavering love has helped innumerable families love and accept their LGBT children, siblings, grandchildren and friends. I watched as two parents who rejected their son learn to accept him and realize their love for him was too strong to let go with the help of PFLAG members' love and guidance.
A big "WOW and THANKYOU" to David Caldwell, the straight (and married) lead organizer for the gay rights group Heights Families for Equality who "led a successful campaign in 2003 to create a domestic-partnership registry in Cleveland Heights, Ohio, making it the first such voter-initiated registry in the nation." And all the others like him.
An awed gratitude for all the straight kids who have started and joined Gay/Straight alliances in their schools.
A THANK YOU to Canadian Parliment's 175 (mostly straight) legislators who voted yesterday to not revisit the same-sex marriage issue. And to the hundreds of straight legislators in Massachusetts, Spain, South Africa, Belgium, Netherlands and California who voted for and passed full marriage equality. ANd to the other straight legislators who voted for civil unions and domestic partnerships and anti-discrimination laws.
THANK YOU, to the Supreme Court justices who struck down the insidious laws that made our love illegal.
A sobbing thank you to my parents. To my mother and step-father who are my greatest allies in everything in my life. To my father who loved me enough to struggle and overcome his own long-engrained homophobia and has come to accept me and my family with open arms.
A lifetime of gratitude to my siblings, all 8 (full, half and step :), who think it'd be completely weird not to see me, my partner and our child as anything but family.
A hug to my all my straight nephews and nieces who never thought twice in calling my soulmate their uncle.
An undying gratitude to my devout Mormon mother and father in-law who love me as their son, who are devoted to their son and granddaughter and who support, defend and embrace us completely.
And gratitude to my two (of three) brothers-in-law and their spouses and children for their support and love.
Thank you to my extended family and in-laws.
A HUGE eternally grateful hug to my close friend, who in stood with me and was a support (and still is) when I came out to family, when I got called up for Desert Storm, when I was outed in our college department, when I was excommunicated from my church, who listened to my greivences and my joys, who has been there without waver. Thank you.
Thank you to the straight social workers who brought us and our most delightful daughter together.
Lots of tears of gratitude to our daughter's birthmother, who chose us to be her daughter's parents. Who knew we would love her, cherish her and give her a home filled with love and joy.
A big smile and thank you to all the countless strangers we've met over the years who have given us smiles, words of support, love or encouragement, or just plain acceptance as our lives cross paths.
And thank you to the thousands of Kossacks who give support here and in campaigns and letters and voting and...
Thank you.
When things like the above happen to us or we hear about them, sometimes it takes just a bit of reflection and persepective to remember how much progress we have made, with no small thanks to our friends, family and allies.
(oh.. and I KNOW I haven't put a LOT of straight allies here, so if you have any that need thanking... here's a good place :D)