If I Were the Devil ..... (my version)
If I were the devil I would gain control of the most powerful nation in the world, undermine its liberal constitution, eradicate its Bill of Rights, and substitute the ideals of the Founding Fathers with the totalitarian impulses of conservatives.
I would delude their minds with right wing fundamentalist religion instead of the blessings of reason and humanity.
If I were the devil I would promote an attitude of loving avarice and mistreating people instead of valuing the common good and common decency.
I would deny states the right to rely on legalized gambling to generate revenue for their schools.
If I were the devil I would convince people that character doesn't count so long as the person is a right wing conservative.
I would make it legal for government bureaucrats to pry into people's wombs and bedrooms.
I'd listen to Rush LImbaugh from 12-3, Sean Hannity from 3-6, and watch Bill O'Reilly from 8-9.
If I were the devil I would cheapen human life as much as possible so that HMO bureaucrats make medical decisions and rich corporations are valued more than people's health.
If I were the devil I would impose a false vengeful conservative God on schoolchildren and deny people the right to sue when they are discriminated against or become the victims of violence solely because of their religious beliefs.
I'd redistribute wealth by raising middle class taxes, giving all that money to the uber rich, and claim to the public that I cut taxes for everyone.
If I were the devil I would overpursue a war on drugs to purge minorities from our streets but turn the other cheek when fellow conservatives use meth or buy bags of Oxycontin.
I would put the media under corporate conservative control, ignore the real news, and pollute people's minds with nonsense about Anna Nicole Smith and Brittney Spears.
I would undermine true family values, the backbone of any nation, by making spousal abuse and child abuse acceptable, even fashionable and promote unloving traditional values over loving egalitarian values.
If I were the devil I would deny people the right to express their beliefs on canvas and movie screens, and ban art I did not like.
I would spew hatred against homosexuals and use them as scapegoats when times get tough.
If I were the devil I'd show hostility toward diversity and shop for shoes at Ferragamos while thousands of my fellow citizens drowned.
I would convince people that right and wrong is determined by a few charlatans who call themselves godly and denounce those who disagree with these charlatans as immoral.
If I were the devil I'd vote for George W Bush and vote Republican or DLC for the rest of my life.
I would persuade people that the Church is infallible, create a bad guy as the counterpart to my good guy, and preach that my Bible is the literal word of god.
If I were the devil I would promote dominionism among Christians, and make them believe that prayer can solve all problems, and that obedience to the Church is mandatory.
I would create more terrorists by invading Iraq and criticize detractors as unAmerican and unpatriotic.
If I were the devil I probably would call myself Paul Harvey and pretend to be a man of god.