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General Tommy Franks, head of Central Command during the "combat phase" of Operation Iraqi Freedom, thought Doug Feith was the dumbest (expletive deleted) guy on the planet.  Feith may be a dolt, but he has nothing in the effing dumb department on his political mentor Dick Cheney.  Old "Last Throes" was in classic form this week in Guam, where he met with U.S. troops and local officials.  

Here are some excerpts from the Associated Press coverage of his visit.

US Vice-President Dick Cheney says the American people will not back a policy of retreat in Iraq, a day after Britain announced a large-scale troop pullout.

Never mind Cheney's use of the distracting but emotionally charged term "retreat."  Given his standing in the polls and the results of our November election, what in the name of science and sanity makes him think he can speak for the "American people?"

In Guam he met with American troops and local officials who support a buildup of forces on the isolated island. His brief stopover attracted 2,000 troops and residents to hear his speech.

If you've ever been to Guam, you know there's not a heck of a lot to do there.  That all a speech by the vice president of the United States could draw was 2,000 people--mostly Navy and Air Force personnel who had no choice other than to attend--tells you that Cheney is as popular in Guam as he is everywhere else.  

But here's where Cheney really flashed his Bozo badge (from the official White House Transcript):

By positioning forces on Guam, the United States can move quickly and effectively to protect our friends, to defend our interests, to bring relief in times of emergency, and to keep the sea lanes open to commerce and closed to terrorists.

Keep the sea lanes closed to terrorists?  For God's sake, Cheney, the "terrorists" don't have a navy and they never will.  Do you actually believe they'll ever be able to control sea lanes in the Northern Pacific Ocean?  Or do you just think the rest of us are dumb enough to believe that on your say so?  

Dumb Like a Fox

By now, nearly everyone knows how Dick Cheney has funneled untold billions of war profits to his pals at Halliburton and its subsidiary, KBR.  Not so well known is KBR's history for securing naval support contracts.  If America starts a mother loving naval war with Iran, hey boy--who is going to profit from that?

Dick Cheney isn't just one of the worst things that ever happened to America.  He's one of the worst things that happened to humanity.  This man, one of history's greatest warmongers and war profiteers, is the same guy who had ten years worth of "other priorities" when it was time to fight the war of his generation.  And to think: many veterans who fought in the Vietnam War that Cheney opted out of still support Cheney's militaristic worldview.  

One hears that in social situations, Cheney is a charming guy.  I'm sure that's true, but here's some advice.  If you ever find yourself in an intimate setting with him, and he offers you an apple, don't take it.


Commander Jeff Huber, U.S. Navy (Retired) writes from Virginia Beach, Virginia.  Read his commentaries at Pen and Sword.

Originally posted to Jeff Huber on Fri Feb 23, 2007 at 08:58 AM PST.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Gotta watch out for those rubber rafts (6+ / 0-)

    Crossing the Pacific!

    I wish someone would call Bush, Cheney, or any lying RepublicSCUM that says that crap about if we don't stop them over there, they'll follow us back to the U.S.

    How's that going to happen?  

    'Events are in the saddle and ride mankind.' Emerson

    by deepsouthdoug on Fri Feb 23, 2007 at 09:08:52 AM PST

  •  Thick as a brick? (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Cho, Topaz7, highfive, godislove

    Really don't mind if you sit this one out.

    My words but a whisper -- your deafness a SHOUT.
    I may make you feel but I can't make you think.
    Your sperm's in the gutter -- your love's in the sink.
    So you ride yourselves over the fields and
    you make all your animal deals and
    your wise men don't know how it feels to be thick as a brick.
    And the sand-castle virtues are all swept away in
    the tidal destruction
    the moral melee.
    The elastic retreat rings the close of play as the last wave uncovers
    the newfangled way.
    But your new shoes are worn at the heels and
    your suntan does rapidly peel and
    your wise men don't know how it feels to be thick as a brick.


    Leave the cat alone, for what has the cat done, that you should so afflict it with tape? - Ian Frazier, Lamentations of the Father

    by Frankenoid on Fri Feb 23, 2007 at 09:13:29 AM PST

  •  Bush Cheney (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Cho, Topaz7, willb48

    Haven't seen them together much lately, have you?

    We shall overcome, someday.

    by Sam Wise Gingy on Fri Feb 23, 2007 at 09:15:42 AM PST

  •  "in the navy" (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Cho, Topaz7, Rumarhazzit, willb48

    wasn't there a terrorist dude in the village people?

    his postulating was not sporting, but childish, and he was jealous of those fairer and more learned than he, respected men twice his age - wilmer de sirkis

    by memofromturner on Fri Feb 23, 2007 at 09:38:45 AM PST

  •  Al-Qaida (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Cho, Topaz7, gustynpip

    For the next "State of the Union"....Easter Island Intelligence reports significant developments by al-qaida elements working with RCSV..."Remote Controlled Sea Vehicle"......several large tub toys have been seen paddling furiously toward the open sea lanes.

    Time waits for no one, the treasure is great spend it wisely.

    by mojavefog on Fri Feb 23, 2007 at 09:46:39 AM PST

  •  You Know That French Aircraft Carrier? (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    The one that they can't scrap anywhere.
    Well, those Frenchies being Frenchies,
    They sold it to a guy in a back alley in Beirut.
    So now the terrorists have an aircraft carrier.

    And I hear that they want to buy the Iowa and the Wisconsin. ;-)

  •  The Dick is a force of nature: (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    This is reported from the SMH today:

    TERRORISTS' ultimate aim is to establish "a caliphate covering a region from Spain, across North Africa, through the Middle East and South Asia, all the way to Indonesia and it wouldn't stop there," the US VicePresident, Dick Cheney, warned yesterday.

    In comments that could have been made in the months after the September 11 terrorist attacks, but which fell flat with his Sydney audience, he said terrorists "had ambitions of empire".

    Yeah, right!

    Chimpee is an embarrassment to stupidity! GTFO ASAP! AAF

    by Asinus Asinum Fricat on Fri Feb 23, 2007 at 10:23:26 AM PST

    •  He's a natural disaster. nt (0+ / 0-)

      Commander Jeff Huber, US Navy (Retired) is a freelance writer in Virginia, USA.

      by Jeff Huber on Fri Feb 23, 2007 at 10:32:05 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  It is telling that his enemies are "Imperialists" (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Asinus Asinum Fricat

      [Cheney] said terrorists "had ambitions of empire".

      One of the most common human failings is to assume that ones enemies are moved by the same motives as you yourself. One of the effects of this is that it is very hard to end a conflict because you fundamentally don't understand what the other guy wants.

      Another is that you can often tell a lot about someone by what he accuses his enemy of. Back in the cold war, the Soviets called us "Imperialists" and acted as if we wanted to conquer and subjugate other countries. Note that they were the ones who rolled tanks into their own allies countries. We, on the other hand always accused them of wanting to spread their ideology to all countries. We were the ones spreading ideology rather than conquering.

      Cheney says that the terrorist have ambitions of empire. He is a member of the first US administration to initiate a pre-emptive war with the specific goals of regime change and nation building. His administration believes in the inherent authority of the Commander in Chief, sole decider in the unitary executive, with unenumerated powers, whose priorities are enforced throughout the government by "Policy Officers", and whose second in command is a member of no recognized branch of government, with no requirement to report what secrets it keeps.

      Imperialism can mean two things: wanting to subjugate the rest of the world as a foreign policy and concentrating once Republican power into a single leader's hands.

    •  It's revealing taht he calls them "imperialist" (0+ / 0-)

      [Cheney] said terrorists "had ambitions of empire".

      One of the more common human failings is assuming that your enemies are moved by the same motives that you are. One result of this is that it is often hard to end a conflict, because you don't know what the enemy really wants or really fears. It makes them act so "irrationally".

      Another important effect is that you can often tell a lot about someone by what they say about their enemies. A great example of this is the Cold War. The Soviets always accused us of being "imperlialists" and wanting to literally conquer the world. We always called them ideologues, who wanted to export their ideology and ecconomic system to the world. They were the ones, however who rolled tanks into their allies's and neighbors country and had huge parades featuring their armies and missiles. We on, on the other hand were always trying to sell democracy and capitalism to the world.

      Cheney calls the terrorists imperialist, but he is part of the first US administration to pre-emptively invade another country for the explicit purpose of regime change and nation building. His administration is the one that believes in a Commender in Chief with inherent unenumerated authority and acting as the sole decider supervising a unitary executive that he controls by directly appointed policy officers, and whose second in command is outside of all branches of government with no accountability as to what is decides is secret or not.

      Imperialism has two sides, the desire to subjugate the rest of the world's nations and the the concentration of previously representative power into the hands of a single man. Cheney sees his enemies as imperialist.

  •  Beware the rubber rafts of DOOOOOM (0+ / 0-)

    D'you think Halliburton stands to make money on anti-terrorist watercraft? I wonder.

    / sarcasm

    "Of course your need to consume is an exception due to your incredibly challenging circumstances."

    by Topaz7 on Fri Feb 23, 2007 at 10:27:42 AM PST

  •  If Cheney had any real courage ... (0+ / 0-)

    ... he would not have blown town during the Libby verdict. And what's with his rant on McCain? I think it's his usual vindictiveness, in that he didn't like McCain calling Rumsfeld the worst Secretary of Defense in history.

    "It does not require many words to speak the truth." -- Chief Joseph, native American leader (1840-1904)

    by highfive on Fri Feb 23, 2007 at 10:59:32 AM PST

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