It was nearly ten years ago. Twelve sun-soaked and work-free vacation days had come to a reluctant end. Days that were lost cruising the Caribbean on a small ship hopping from isle-to-isle with nearly a total eclipse of my boss from Hell, an increasingly complicated schedule, and news of the outside world.
As I slogged down the jet way, reluctant to re-face the real world, my so-called relationship of that time stood waiting in the terminal. Something was wrong. She was beaming; no, she was actually giddy. Up to that time, ‘Giddy’ was not an adjective that could ever be used in the same sentence as her name.
“Did you hear the news!” she gasped. “Clinton was caught having an affair! It looks like he might be impeached!”
As we drove from the airport, while I was clearly upset with her glee, I was most upset with myself. Later that night, as the quiet of the night enveloped me, I made a solemn and sacred vow, not only to myself, but to the powers of the universe (along with my dog, Ben) that I would never, ever, date another Republican woman.
Is it possible that a relationship can survive, and perhaps, flourish when each individual belongs to an opposite political party and embraces a fundamentally different ideological belief? Can true love possibly ride herd on stampeding opinions regarding the ‘war’ on terror, gay unions, stem cell research, God in the White House, and the role of government?
Most importantly, can a valiant progressive ever live with himself/herself when sleeping with the enemy?
I’m not referring to those folks in the heartland where “daddy was a _____ (fill-in the affiliation blank), so I’m a ______” that enters into a relationship with a person of the opposite party who shares a similar affiliation logic, but never picks up a paper or follows any political discourse.
Sure, I know of some high-profile examples, such as the James Carville-Mary Matalin long-term hook-up. But these folks live in the stratosphere of political consulting where (I would surmise) there are genuine similarities in thought, action, and so-called beltway “political realities” that would trump ideological rifts.
Given the divide that currently exists between the faithful of both parties, I personally find it difficult to see how a healthy relationship could flourish, especially, if one of the parties was a dyed-in-the-red, thirty-percenter and the other was a relatively hard-core progressive such as many of us here.
Currently, I can’t say that I personally know of any relationships where each of the parties are actively involved in opposing political parties. Over the past several years, I’ve known of several single folks that I had considered to be quite progressive - and even outspoken about their political beliefs, but were otherwise were unlucky in the DOL (Department of Love). In each of these situations, the heavy hand of fate interceded and Mr./Ms. “Right” strolled onto the scene; promptly unloading a quiver-full of Cupid’s arrows. Of course, I was thrilled at the prospect of true love. However, as the details of their paramour slowly emerged, I soon realized that had they were smitten for a disciple of Rush himself. Slowly, as these relationships continued to remain intact, I noticed that the level of progressive political discourse with these folks began to wane, virtually disappearing in one case.
Thus, in these situations, one of the parties had to go “underground” in their political beliefs in order for the relationship to survive. While their party loyalty may have remained (however, I’m not entirely sure to this day since the topic is an unspoken taboo), there was a clear and distinct repression of their public acknowledgement and desire to discuss current political affairs.
In my case, from the day that I made that vow nearly ten years, I had several more relationships that could be officially categorized as a “relationship” before I met my wife; and, I’m still proud to say that each one was with a believer in progressive causes.
Call me shallow; call me short-sighted, or hopelessly narrow in focus, but after that date, I chose (and in several cases, it was definitely mutual) not to continue dating someone that was not of my political stripes.
So, is it possible that one can find true happiness while sleeping with the enemy?
(Disclaimer: The use of the word “enemy” is rhetorical. It is used for literary emphasis. He he he)