"Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas."
I am here to take you on a wondrous journey. An adventure to a forgotten time where toys were made out of die-cast aluminum instead of shitty plastic, and electronics had wood grain. It's a mysterious universe that existed before the series of tubes we now call the Internet were layed down. It's home to some of the crappiest fashion designs in the history of the Human race.
In the time before Amazon.com, eBay or Google was used for children to pine away over their Christmas list, there were JC Penney, Montgomery Ward and Sears catalogs to give kids ideas. Whether your parents would take the hint, is another story.
So let's go for a walk down memory lane.....
When looking back at past Christmas catalogs, if there is one thing I can be thankful for, it's that I was born after 1975. Since, according to Sears, it seems the people of that time dressed their kids like Herb from "WKRP In Cincinnati" and extras from "Little House On The Prarie."
One other thing that comes across as strange in the '70s catalogs, is the idea families should wear matching clothing. I don't know if it was some sort of Communist plot to get us all used to the idea of wearing matching "Mao suits", or the sort of science fiction belief that in the future the secret to making denim has been lost & all of us will wear matching jump suits, but it just seems odd.
Another interesting aspect of looking back is the evolution of electronics. I don't know when or where they decide these things, but did anyone notice about 4 years ago all of the manufacturers decided to give every television a silver cabinet? And then about a year ago, they must have had another meeting & decided to change all of the TVs back to black. But when will they bring back the wood grain? Back in 1982, a television was still a piece of furniture. So it had to have a faux cedar finish. But I must say, the prices have come down a bit. $600 for a 19-inch set?
And to go along with your $600 19-inch set, you could also buy a $788 Betamax VCR.
Or maybe 1982's version of the Nintendo Wii?
And for all you that I see picking up an 80GB iPod & saying "that's too big", let's talk about what people had to do to have portable music in the days of yore. If people wanted to listen to Sugarhill Gang or Hall & Oates, they had to carry around a box on their shoulder that took 8 D batteries. Puts things in perspective when you have to have your little Bluetooth headset, because it's too much trouble to hold your 6 ounce phone next to your head. Just think of what the previous generation had to do in order to hear "Oh here she comes, Watch out boy she'll chew you up. Oh here she comes, She's a maneater."
As for toys..... Looking back at 1986, raises some questions. Do they even make slot cars anymore? Where is Teddy Ruxpin? Where the hell is my Thundercats headquarters?
To see more, you can see a host of past Christmas catalogs & wishlists by clicking here. Another fun article is X-Entertainment's look back at 1985.