With the primary season heating up, I try to fiercely attack the amount of clutter trying to weasel its way into my inbox. I resent it trying to take my focus away from bigger and better things. In fact, I try very hard to clear the clutter as often as I can just to vengefully smite something. Especially email scams. I hate email scams the most because they are so obviously rotten to the core, but good people fall for them everyday. It just makes me mad.
But no matter how hard I try they keep finding a way to slip the most legendary one of them all through.
That plague of all email plagues: The Nigerian Email Scam.
I can't stand it. And the latest one is a doozy.
DO NOT CONTACT ME! DO NOT REPLY!
Compliments of the day to you!
Due to the sudden death of the viability of my Republican Party, I have been thrown into a state of hopelessness by the present state of conservative affairs. I have lost confidence with anybody in a position of leadership or primary status to help me. I got your parties contacts through a personal search, and had to reach out to you through this medium. My Party has been plunging billions and billions of dollars into Iraq, and lavishing massive tax cuts on the wealthiest of Americans. I will be happy if you can receive this war and keep it safely unsafe and ongoing through its continuation and expansion. Also, to please refrain from departing from our regressive domestic agenda to truly pursue your own. Due to stress that this political collapse has placed on my daily affairs, I can not be seen publicly with anyone for fear of bringing down any of my efforts and it is vitally important that you do not mention my role in bringing this matter to your attention.
Do NOT contact any Embassy! Do NOT reply or forward this email!
You can truly help to lift my spirits by just screwing your golden opportunity for a great realignment up. It's simple. Listen to our concern trolling. Let us turn everything into a debate. Act like you cannot overwhelm a diminished minority party and surrender. Let the media feed feuds and ill will between your constituencies.
That's all it will take.
Again, only you can lift my heart from the depths of my torment.
You may contact me by parroting my talking points directly here: MSNBC, CNN, FOX NEWS.
Even from the horrowing state of abject misery I exist in today, I will know if you have heard my words.
Kindest regards from exile,
Wingnut Conservatism
I can delete this stuff all day. No problem.
I just wish somebody would finally do something about shutting down the kind of selfish jerks behind it making the rounds again and again. This kind of thing does real damage when it fools good people into compliance.
[ This has been a "Primary Bile Free" Diary Zone ]