Let me first say that I was a big-time Mike Gravel supporter but then I decided that the name "gravel" sounded kind of itchy and scratchy. I don't really like gravel when it gets wedged between my toes, ESPECIALLY when I am wearing my flipflops. What problem do you have with flipflops if this doesn't bother you?
I'm just sayin.
So after Gravel I switched to Kucinich but I decided after awhile I didn't really like him because he looks like the Keebler Elf and also his name is so hard to speall it Hurts my Hand!
But then Dennis dropped out - I cried for a week! - and after I stopped crying I got up and started playing around with my phone. It's one of those new Smart Phones, you know. This thing is so smart it could spell Kucinich backwards without using any vowels!
So then I thought -- hmm! Maybe I could use the phone to tell me who to vote for for President! I got on the phone and called 911 but they said I was abusing the 911 privilege. So huffy! Who runs these operations anyway! Republicans, I bet! So I tried "O" but she was mean too. Then I called the Kwik-E Mart and asked if they deliver frozen pizza but guess what - YOU GUESSED IT! Turns out they don't! I bet Mike Gravel designed that system, HA! HA!
So. I called up Obama headquarters. At least, I think it was Obama headquarters. Anyway I dialed the numbers that go with the letters O-B-A-M-A and then since nothing happened I dialed my old locker combination from jr. high. The lady that answered was really sweet and I said I want to know how come Obama is Da Man, and I want to know RIGHT NOW!! The lady asked if I would like to live in a forest made of candy. I said YES Ma'am, right now! She was SO. NICE.
So then I dialed the numbers H-I-L-L-A-R-Y and the lady who answered guess what? She was MEAN! She was like one of those mean girls in "Mean girls!" She told me to STOP calling here because Hillary is TOO DANG BUSY to take a call from a Real Voter like myself! Then she claimed it was the HOSPITAl EMERGENCY ROOM not the Hillary HQ -- yeah right! As IF!
Man, I hung up as fast as I could and I texted a bunch of people to make sure of the significance of what I heard. Sure enough, it turns out it was REALLY SIGNIFICANT! So I came here and blogged about it!
Go Obama! Please Rec this Diary! I am sincere! Help! Love! Hope!
UPDATED to add more exclamation points!!!!!!!!??!