In 2000, I leaned Democrat, but I wasn't particularly politically motivated and lacked any real party loyalty. George Bush changed that. I've spent the last several years swinging hard to the left, and have been one of those guys that read here every day (actually, multiple times per day) and while I don't blog much, I volunteer with the local democratic party. I'm the feet on the ground people say we need.
This last month has been incredibly disheartening for me. What got me to the local meetings every month, what made me volunteer for voter registration drives, was the thought that we were electing someone different. That Obama wouldn't be just another politician, but one who stood up for what I believed in. And at the core of what I believe is a moral certitude that we're all equal. Not just equal under the law (although that too), but equal in the fundamental ways that matter. We all have the same rights, responsibilities, and freedoms as citizens of the United States and as moral human beings.
That's why the FISA capitulation hurts so much. Because it shows me that we're not all equal. That money can buy legislation. That money can buy politicians. And that it doesn't even take money to convince some to vote to sweep the constitution under the rug.
I could handle that, any other time. As Kos says, we need to elect better democrats, not just more democrats. But now that Obama is our nominee, it's painfully clear that we failed this time around. That we didn't elect the best in the field, but just another politician ready to change his beliefs and shift to the center.
I think this is like my second diary ever... I'm not given to writing these things. But the reason I am is because it hurts so bad right now to see this happening. I guess I really believed in Obama. I mean, deep down I got swept up in it all and really believed that he would be different. That he would change things. Now, well... now I see he's just another politician. I was a true blue believer, and it hurts to have your beliefs shattered.
I'll still vote for him, of course. But I didn't make it to the party meeting last night. I'm not sure what that means for me in the long term yet, but I guess time will tell.
Update: Yes, I know Obama isn't "Evil," (and neither is McCain, as much as I stridently oppose his candidacy). But if the bar for finding someone I could really get behind as president was "better than McCain," I could throw a rock into a crowd and odds are whoever it hit could be my candidate. I thought Obama was something different. I thought he was Good, not Better Than the Alternative.