With all the hoopla about rape kits circulating about Sarah Palin, I thought I would write a diary about what happens when a woman or man is sexually assaulted and what consists of a rape kit.
My credentials are rather humble. I volunteered for Bay Area Women Against Rape (BAYWAR) and also a rape crisis center in New York. My job as a volunteer was to provide support for women who have been sexually assaulted and guide them through the process of an emergency visit.
3:00 am- I get awoken by a call from the hospital. It's a dispatcher that informs me of sexual assault survivor. I get dressed and head to the hospital, usually the emergency room. I am not given a name, sometimes the sex, but no other information.
3:30 am- I go to a designated place and identify myself as a crisis counselor volunteer. I have gone through a certification process that most (maybe every state) requires. At this point, I'm given basic information about the person that has been assaulted, usually gender and location in the hospital. That is all.
3:36 am- I introduce myself to the survivor. Sometimes they expect you, other times not. I say the following, "Hi my name is "sideboth" and I'm here to help you through a whole bunch of difficult choices. My job is to explain any process that may be confusing or scary to you. I'm not here to judge. You can tell me nothing or everything. I'm not a police officer or a doctor. I'm just here to help."
3:45am- At this point, I try to get an impression. Does this person need a hug? Does this person need me to give them the facts straight up? Does this person need me to go yell at some doctor?
Side note- Rape survivors (never victims) come in all sizes, colors, social backgrounds, genders, circumstances. I have seen men, women, 20 year olds, 50 year olds, homeless, middle class, upper class, teenagers etc...
3:50-5:00am- Yes, the time is right, We sit. This is an emergency room and guess what, in emergency rooms, emergencies happen. You are waiting for a doctor. During this time, one of two things happens:
- Survivor never says a word.
- Survivor tells you what happened.
My job isn't to judge what happened, it's to get the survivor through the next steps. I listen and practice empathy. Sometimes the stories break your heart, other times the stories have grey areas. Not my job to judge , only to listen.
5:00am-6:00am- Finally a doctor and some hard choices. This is where a volunteer has either already explained the process or started to...
The rape kit:
- Oral swab- One of the most frustrating things is that we usually recommend no liquids until the rape kit has been done. That means no water, no soda, nothing. By drinking water, you are washing away the evidence. Think about that. You have been orally assaulted and you can't have a drink of water. A doctor swabs your mouth.
- Undressing- A rape kit is about preserving evidence. Everything is important. The rape kit is trying capture any strands of hair or evidence. This means undressing slowly over a piece of paper.
Side note- Sometimes I stay for moral support, other times I leave the room.
- GYN Exam- Yes, it's a vaginal(women) and anal exam (men and women) looking for evidence. The doctor is swabbing each area looking for secretions and other fluids.
There is no magic formula. The doctor can't look at a victim and tell whether they have been assaulted or not. Some people have tears, others don't. Some people's sexual parts can take far greater pressure and abuse than others.
This can be a particularly stressful part of the exam. The doctors are not trying to re-victimize the survivor and it can be stressful on all parties.
- Hair collection- In order to compare matching hairs and foreign hairs, the doctors need to take samples. This means samples from the head and pubic area and they need roots. Ouch.
- Photographs- The rape kit needs to show injuries, if any occurred. (Again, you can be sexually assaulted and not show a mark on you). This could included bruises, scrapes, swelling etc...
- Medication- There are many choices available to survivors of assault.
a. Venereal disease- Certain drugs cure/clear up infections
b. Pregnancy- Morning after pill
c. HIV prophylaxis
Each drug carries its own side effects and each drug has pros/cons. My job is not to encourage but rather to inform.
6:00am-7:30am We are waiting for either shots or pills. When a survivor has decided to take these medications, they need to wait for the pharmacy to fill the order. At this point, police may or may not have shown up. It is up to the survivor whether they want to talk to them or not.
Talking to the police is a very personal decision. And before you judge, can I ask you to do this? Go to your co-worker (somebody you like) and tell them the last time you had sex in raw detail. Every detail down to the last lick, ache, moan etc. Now imagine that same detail to a stranger who you (right or wrong) thinks you are lying/deserved it/telling the truth. Highly personal decision.
Everything above is worth 300-1200 dollars. Are you willing to pay money out of your own pocket for what I just described? How about a teenager? How about an elderly woman/man on a fixed income? How about you as a regular woman/man?