When I look back to the recount of 2000, Im amazed people were actually fighting to get this dimwit elected. Can you imagine if George W. Bush actually campaigned in 2000 on what he actually has accomplished 8 years later? Well lets do that. Lets imagine if W's convention speech went something like this......
Americans are not paying enough for gas, a gallon is only 1.46 a gallon. I pledged that gas will be anywhere from 3.50 to 4 dollars a gallon at the end of my second term. Im an old oil man and I also promise tax breaks to oil companies as they make records profits. My comprehensive energy policy will also means Americans will may more for natural gas to heat their homes and electricity. Rising energy prices will also lead to higher food prices.
I am so outraged at the bombing of the USS Cole, that I promise my national security advisory will not meet with key anti-terrorism experts for the first 9 months of my presidency. I promise to take little to no action regarding any presidential daily briefing warning of terrorist attacks on American soil. This may result in 3,000 dead Americans, our 2 greatest buildings laying in ruble, the pentagon hit by terrorism and another highjacked plane crashed.
I promise to ruin Americas reputation in the world. I will go to the United Nations with bogus evidence in order to start a war supported by ideological neo-conservatives in my administration. A war which will lead to over 4,000 dead Americans and tens of thousands more wounded. I will lie about the costs of the war, which will cost over 500 billion dollars. I promise America will torture and suspend habeus corpus.
I promise to promote the most unqualified people I can find to key posts. The most important attribute I will look for is not competance for the American people, but rather loyalty to me. I believe a man connected to showing horses should head FEMA. I will stand by and do little to nothing as a major American city drowns, resulting in 2,000 more dead americans. I promise my Justice Department will only be concerned with partisan politics, not justice. I promise to domestically spy on Americans without a warrant.
I believe the national debt is too low. As any good republican would, I promise to borrow and spend. I make this pledge to my fellow Americans, in just 8 years we can double the national debt. I will create an entitlement program where the American tax payer will pay the highest pricest for prescription drugs and I will not permit negotiating to lower prices. Job creation is just too high under the Clinton administration, I plan to reduce new jobs by 75%.
Lastly, I promise to have the greatest economic crisis since the great depression. Home prices will fall, banks will fail. Pension funds will see little growth in 8 years and the value of 401k accounts will go down. I will also direct my Secretary of the Treasury to ask Americans to pony up 700 billion dollars to shore up Wall Street, since my administration does not believe in regulation.
Bush/Cheney 2000---A reformer with results