Or else how will we ever know how important it is?
Come on people. Didn't you hear there's an election going on?
THERE HAVE NOT BEEN NEARLY ENOUGH DIARIES THAT ARE IN BREAKING OR ALL CAPS!!! (How can I possibly follow this incredible story if not for long parentheticals in the title?)
This is important shit people! We're kicking ass and yet beware, the sky's about to fall! GRATUITOUS ITALICS ARE STRICTLY NECESSARY!!. Look how well we're doing, and look how evil they are . . . God I despise them . . . you know who . . . those other ones.
Furthermore:
how many updates can you give me?
Can you give me more?
Because that would be better!
More updates is always better!
There's not enough diaries apologizing for brevity and lack of content either, and that makes me sad. I hope to see more apologetic stuff in the near future.
I'll update soon . . . repeatedly.
UPDATE
I am trying to start a movement of people who's breaking stories are updated and in ALL CAPS. It's very important that you subscribe to my Newsletter!
UPDATE X 4
Just fixing the title.
UPDATE: DAMNNIT THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE UPDATE 3, NOT 2. SO SORRY GUYS.