Over the past few weeks I've watched the blue portion of the electoral college map expand beautifully, and that only feeds my diligence toward this election.
Nonetheless, it occurred to me that as we continue to toss anvils and leave everything on the road there may not be many places left for a Republican to feel at home in the weeks and years ahead.
So, as a special service to all those GOP trolls and lurkers out there, this recurring feature will highlight the shifting center of the GOP universe. The center of the GOP universe is any city or town that is as equidistant and far as possible from the nearest blue states. So follow along in the weeks ahead! It's fun geography and you'll learn about new places--to avoid, or target for future Progressive expansion--in this great country of ours.
And if you really are a Republican, don't fret: there's always Alaska. Well, at least for now . . . Go Begich!
Today's center of the GOP Universe: NACOGDOCHES, TEXAS
Nacogdoches is as near the center of the GOP universe as a town gets. It is 581 miles from Hobbs, New Mexico, 591 miles from Cairo, Illinois, and 564 miles from Pensacola Florida. Missouri is still a tossup state that McCain might hold, so for now we'll have Obama's northernmost vector be the southern tip of Illinois. As Missouri continues to wise up and eventually turns blue we'll find the new center of the GOP universe, somewhere even deeper in Texas. For now, its Nacogdoches.
(Disclaimer: I'm a bit sad to pick on Nacogdoches, since it plays a part in a lot of great music--especially by Lucinda Williams. But the compass and Google maps don't lie.)
Nacogdoches is known as "The Oldest Town in Texas." According to the official website of the city, Paleolithic people first settled the area in about 10,000 B.C. That is impossible, of course, because everyone in town knows that the earth is only 6,000 years old. Whoever wrote that--no doubt some closet liberal from the local university--F*** you and the dinosaur you rode in on.
In the colonial era Nacogdoches was visited by several famous explorers, all of whom were vying for control of the region, including DeSoto, LaSalle and DeLeon, who was the first to attempt colonization and education in 1690. DeLeon's first order of business was to ban Don Quixote from the local library because he felt the Man of La Mancha's free expression of desire for Dulcinea was indecent and unbefitting a man who, like so many wignuts, set the standard for jousting with windmills.
Oil was first drilled for in Nacogdoches in 1861, but these energy ambitions were soon eclipsed by the arrival of the railroad and then the interstate highway system. In the end it was transportation that spurred the town's most impressive growth, making it a hub in the food production industry and aiding the expansion of Stephen Austin State University to its current enrollment of 12,000+ students. Which only goes to show that even Republicans blessed with small town values can appreciate massive federal infrastructure programs designed to benefit the common good.
Last, if you are a Republican fleeing the Democratic hoards taking over most of the rest of the United States, here is a convenient job posting [pdf] for a Human Resources Manager in Nacogdoches. Applicant must be willing to abuse private personnel files for political gain with impunity, all on a private email account. Happy transition!
Next Up: The Rocky Mountain Wingnut Militia version of the center of the GOP universe.