I am a hard core, born-again Christian. I play guitar on the worship team at my church. I have always joked that my horrible musical ability provides proof that Christians are good and loving people, because no one boos me when I play.
This morning I was forced to consider an unpleasant question: Would they boo me if I got up and publicly announced that I am pro-choice?
I love my pastor like a brother, because he is one. He's a good, good person who is a little misguided on a couple of issues. When does my willingness to overlook his over-zealous attitude cease to be my tolerance and start to become my hypocrisy? Am I offering tacit approval of his stance by continuing to attend his church?
My husband and I are followers of Jesus Christ. We firmly believe that the attitudes Jesus espoused fit logically and perfectly with the liberal, progressive mindset in the year 2008. Putting others before ourselves, being of service where ever we can, being calm and contemplative while going about our daily lives...possibly not the first things that pop into your head if you're not a Christian, and possibly because the Focus on the Family crowd has taken up all the space marked "Christianity" in your brain.
My husband and I have no children, by choice. This alone might get us marginalized in some churches. We have gay and lesbian friends and family members that we adore and actually really like to spend time with. Oops. Strike two. The icing on the cake is the fact that we are both pro-choice. We want to do as the Bible mandates and worship in a body of believers. FINDING that body of believers is looking like an impossible task.
I'm a vegetarian. I have weird piercings. I have a tattoo. (It's a cross and "John 3:30", but still...only Bad People get tattoos, right?) It shouldn't have come as any surprise that some rather pointed stickers have graced my vehicle: "Who Would Jesus Torture?" "Christians Against Bush" and "'Love thy enemy' strongly implies not killing them". I was pleasantly surprised to come out of church one Sunday, only to find a church member looking very pointedly at the back of my vehicle. "Oh," she said. "Is this you?" I said yes. She punched her fist in the air and said, "RIGHT ON." I about passed out. Maybe my husband I aren't the only ones?
I have to point out that Mrs. Right On and her husband have been missing for a several weeks. Did they find another church to attend? Sadly, I am guessing that's the case. I know of a couple other families who have started worshiping elsewhere, and now my husband and I and another family we know are seriously looking at finding a new church. Why?
Abortion and homosexuality.
Apparently these two things are the biggest troubles we have in this nation right now. Seriously. This seems to be the stance of some people, and I unfortunately have to face facts and place my beloved pastor's name under that heading. Go grab a Bible. Take a look through the New Testament and find all the mentions Jesus makes about abortion and homosexuality. I'll wait.
Didn't find any, did you? That's because there aren't any. Homosexuality was rampant in Rome; don't you think it would have been relevant for Christ to have spoken about it at the time? Yet He didn't. I bring up homosexuality only because it was mentioned at the beginning of the sermon I heard today, and it was cited as one of the biggest problems going on in this country right now.
The other was abortion. My pastor has preached on abortion before, specifically right before the 2004 election. He was so wrapped up in pounding the podium about the evils of the whole thing, he forgot that one little point: That women who have had abortions are forgiven and loved by Christ just as much as anyone else. I was LIVID. I managed to get home and stomp around the house for a couple of hours and cool off a teeny bit before calling my pastor at home. I pointed out to him that statistically speaking, there were a good number of women listening to his sermon that morning who had had abortions and who were probably left feeling like something dredged up from the litter box. I was in tears. He, to his credit, ended up in tears as well, and corrected himself first thing the next Sunday. He pointed out that he was wrong to not have stressed that the forgiveness of Christ extends to EVERYONE, and that any woman who may have experienced abortion in her past is utterly loved and forgiven. Still...
Just...still.
It was an abomination it ever happened in the first place, and I seriously pondered looking for another church at that point. I also discussed with him his implication in his sermon that stem cell research and abortion are somehow tied together; he admitted that the fetuses that are used in stem cell research are almost exclusively the fetuses left over from in vitro fertilization. He admitted that to me, but he never addressed it publicly. Because, don't you know? Good Christian husbands and wives all have children. By whatever means possible. The hypocrisy is staggering. It's not okay for a woman to have an abortion, but it's okay for another woman to go to extreme measures to create life, only to either destroy it or let it languish in frozen suspension forever. I mean, seriously. It makes my brain explode.
This morning's sermon was more icing on the cake, but the big, sugary flower plopped right in the middle of the whole damn mess came after the sermon had ended. An elder of the church got up to offer a little more food for thought about the topic, and about the state of our nation in general. He started to state, (paraphrasing) "We live in a time when a man has refused to be sworn into office on the Bible," and my big mouth opened and my hand shot up. Some might argue that it's because I'm a logical, informed, open-minded person, but I say it was the Holy Spirit, and I'm totally serious. The words were coming out of my mouth before I even knew what was going on. What came out of my mouth was, "NO." I added, "I'm sorry, but I have to speak up on this. That is NOT TRUE." He, to his credit, said, "Well, okay, if I'm misinformed about that, I apologize."
But the damage was done, and has been done and will continue being done, all in the name of the Jesus Christ that I worship and adore.
I can't articulate how heartbroken I am to be thinking of finding a new church. I LOVE THESE PEOPLE. I accept that they are human and misguided and kind of stupid about some things...Lord knows the same is true about me. And I also accept the argument that staying there and trying to be a force for good (and logic) is what I should do. I am delighted and gratified that I had four people come up to me after the service to thank me for speaking up. However...I'm distressed that I had FOUR people come up to me and thank me for speaking up.
I am not pro-abortion. I am pro-choice. I was never faced with an unplanned pregnancy, but had I been, I would not have terminated. NO ONE is a fan of abortion, and every single woman I know who has experienced the termination of a pregnancy, to a person, agonized over it. If a woman came to me for advice and counsel on an unplanned pregnancy, I would offer my point of view, but I would not condemn her for her decision, whatever it might be. I would stress with her that Christ loves her no matter what. If it was okay with her, I would put her in touch with agencies who would HELP her. And you know...my pastor would do the same thing. He would. He would do his best to personify Christ in such a situation. But it's the same old conundrum: You might lay on the horn and offer unkind finger gestures at the guy who just cut you off and not feel any remorse...until you both pull into the parking lot and That Guy is one of your coworkers. Why does it have to be personal before people behave?
I believe that the only question that matters is this: Who do you say Christ is? If you believe He was the only son of the only God and he hung on a tree for your sorry butt, everything else is just small potatoes. They are side issues that just don't matter. They are things that we may disagree on, and that we need to AGREE to disagree on. The Jesus Christ I know and love would expect that, and He would also expect His followers to be smart enough and interested enough in seeking the truth to do a little homework on things like, "...you know he refused to be sworn in on the Bible, right?"